I
am part of a Facebook page, specifically for host parents and
mentors of the organization. I am learning so many great things!
The
other day someone asked the veteran host parents for key advice for
hosting. I loved all the words of wisdom that were posted. Here are some
things that I liked and need to remember:
Keep in the mind the things that are so obvious to you are not obvious to them.
Do not expect grateful children...just regular children. Have lots of patience and lots of love.
Show grace and have lots of simple fun.
Remember it's only for a few weeks, but they keep those memories for a lifetime. You CAN have an impact!
Love
on them like there is no tomorrow. Pray over them constantly. Try
to understand that it will be just like having a "newborn" in your home
in some sense. Manage your expectations!!!
And
please remember that there are many, many people praying for you and
your family and the children you are hosting. Cry out or shout out if
you need help or advice.
I would establish a simple routine the first week like meals times, shower, bedtime. Its very hard to undo something.
Be
flexible! It was so hard to get my daughter to go to bed that first
hosting. She would get back up and run around the house (she was
twelve). She would sneak my husbands sweatshirts. She seemed naughty
and obstinate much of the time. Toward the end of hosting we had pretty
much figured it out. She wanted to stay up with us. She wanted to lay
between us and fall asleep. She wanted to wear "daddy's" sweatshirt to
sleep because of the smell. Many of the things that drove us crazy that
first hosting were her cries for security. She stole my phone and took
selfies ALL the time. It drove me crazy. She left and we cried and I
was so thankful for all of the pictures. She had been hosted before, and
she understood better than we did how fast that time would go. I know
that we all want order to our homes, but try to think outside the box
about what their actions might be saying. This time will fly, I
promise. Make every minute count.
(isn't that beautiful????)
Don't be surprised if you have a
boy and they refuse to do certain work that you do as a family as that
is "women's work". It is a cultural thing. (Each are different on how
they react to the request of pitching in).
Realize that many don't feel sorry for themselves
for being in an orphanage or hate it. They will miss their friends as
they see them 24/7 on a normal day.
Don't "expect" gratitude.
Lower your
expectations so the kids have a chance in your home. Seen too many time
of families expecting the perfect child and being highly disappointed.
Remember how you were.
You WILL feel taken
advantage of and EXHAUSTED. You may feel more like a camp director than
a parent. You may fall asleep wondering how you are going to get
through the next day.
This may be the hardest thing you've ever done. Now is the time to give yourself and the kids a lot of
grace and mercy.
Remember, "love" is a noun and a verb. Now is the
time to DO "love" because you may not FEEL "love". Tie your emotions in
a knot and swallow them, then put on the cloak of love, straighten your
shoulders, stick out your chin, and parent on!
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
No comments:
Post a Comment