Loving and Expecting Nothing in Return

It feels like I've been waiting for 6 months for my host children to get here. It has only been 2.

They are scheduled to board their plane this very evening. Eek! So much to still do!

I am anxious. I am nervous. I am scared. 

My stomach is turning. Will they like us? Will they hate us? Will they be physically ill? Will they be petrified? Will they be nice?

More importantly, will the experience be a memory of hardship and trials, or will it be one of peace, in obeying His calling to do this?

It's the second week for many of the host families on our Facebook group board. The same families who were posting incredible, joyous photos are now sharing the horrific realities of hosting hurting orphans. I read them and get frightened. I can't imagine bringing someone into our house who acts and does what the reports are saying.

via Feed the Children

Whining. Demanding. Ungrateful. Disrespectful. Testing the measure of the host parents' love.

I don't like reading about these kids hurting dogs or throwing water on people. They are wasting the host parents' money and using bad language.

When I shared my fear with my regional coordinator the other day, she said that she didn't experience all the horrors that some of these hosts are posting. She said that it seems another country's orphans might have a harder time than our particular country's.

My first job with "at-risk kids" was my junior year in college. I learned so much working as an event coordinator with the city Youth Services Bureau. I had a brand new car and wanted to do something nice by taking some young teens to a basketball game. After it was over and I dropped them back off, I saw how they debased the back of my Ford Explorer. I was hurt and mad, but learned fast how much anger these kids had and how much attention they wanted. 

I know that if I was single, I could manage. I have seen pain. I have worked with orphans in many countries. But, how do I balance out any of these issues while parenting and making sure my husband and kids' needs are met, also?

This is our ministry. I believe we were called to do this. I have to believe that He will be faithful and show us so much more than we could ever desire. 

Please pray, with me, for our family.

If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:32-36