Turning the Calendar Page

Sometimes turning the calendar to a new year means just that... simply turning the page. There are no huge revelations. Balloons don't shower down from the sky. The 20 pounds don't fall off you. Your brain doesn't switch to a gear and decide that at 12 midnight, you will suddenly not have any more unfolded laundry in baskets or dirty toilets  and every morning you'll wake up at 5am to get that hour workout in before the kids wake up. Of course, I wish that last year, when I turned the calendar page, wonderful things like that fell into place. They didn't. I had some intentions, but what I hadn't intended was 2011 being one of the worst years I can remember.

While I'd love to say all the good things that happened in 2011, I guess the old adage is true that when there are 10 good things and 1 really bad thing, you remember the bad. 2011 suffocated me with bad news, bad feelings, bad days, and bad decisions. And, even though my mind is thinking that tomorrow will just be another day, my heart is hoping for something more than a calendar page. 

Don't just wish. Make it happen.

Don't make excuses. Make it happen.

The only race you have to win is the race against yourself.

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.

We've all heard quotes like these. How can you not love Yoda's famous quote, "Try not.  Do or do not.  There is no try."? But, for some of us, there comes a time when trying and trying to make something happen leads to so much frustration that you take off your "work clothes", crawl into bed, pull the covers up over your head and the dreams and wishes stay dreams and wishes.

Last summer I believed that Jared would read with the phonics program that was recommended. I worked with him constantly and believed and thought that I could "will" it to happen. It definitely didn't happen. It was a long, tough journey of "not-happeningness". And when you're on that daily journey, it's not even about "he can't read" anymore. It turns into "he'll never read. He'll get kicked out of school. He'll never have friends. He'll cry himself to sleep every night. He'll hate life." Okay, well it doesn't always turn into that. It definitely does when I'm feeling sleep deprived and the stresses of life cloud my mind. I guess that's what the quote is talking about with the "race against yourself". Even though some wonderful things happened this year and I have some phenomenal friends, it's very easy to let the bad things seep through the windows and walls of life and turn a year into something you'd love to forget. The world can be a dark, desolate place... for folks with neurological disabilities and those without.

I hope that 2012 is a better year for our family. I hope that I can learn to talk about the really yucky things instead of have two of the worst holidays I can remember and then write a dark blog entry at the end of the year.

This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 (NIV)

It's Going to Hell!

When I found out that dyslexia isn’t just about words, but about directions, objects, etc. it changed my entire perspective. The majority of folks, however, still think of it as just swapping letters around. So, when my son was playing with his new rocket Christmas present the other day and wanted all of us to watch as it catapulted up to the sky, I wasn’t shocked at the words that he said. The rest of the extended family, however, had eyes filled with bewilderment. 

“Watch! It’s going to hell!” (he yelled as he stomped on the contraption that launched it into the sky)

When he was asked what he said, he replied (still yelling) “Go to Hell!” as he stomped on it again.

Very calmly I told him, “I think you mean heaven”. Of course he did, and without skipping a beat, he yelled, “It’s going to heaven!”

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?  Psalm 8:3-4 (NIV)

Parenting and Caking

To say that I’ve been meaning to write blog entries is an understatement. There wasn’t a day when I didn’t think, “I really need to write something!” Unfortunately, I started this cake business and had no idea I’d spend the past few months of 2011 up to my eyeballs in powdered sugar.

My intentions were good. We found out our child had a severe neurological disability that had no cure, but only therapy and hardship. We found out the therapy and tools were going to cost us a lot of money. It only seemed “right” to open the business and start making money to help out the family. After I added up the amount of work I’ve done in the weeks since I started, and how much I actually made, I started to wonder how much I’m actually helping my family. 85 cakes, 811 cookies, 122 push pops, 252 cupcakes, and 2,444 truffles. Originally, my goal was to not work from 3pm-7pm, daily, so I would be there for the kids. Did you see those numbers? That didn’t happen. I’m a one-woman-show and the time working with finances, inventory and marketing caught me off guard.

The good news is people enjoy my confections. I’m not denying that huge blessing. There were weeks when I actually turned away over 10 orders. The bad news is that my son said, on three different occasions, “Please stop working on cakes and come see what I’m doing!” Ouch. That is the reality. If that wasn’t bad enough, I also have the harsh reality of not charging enough and am not really “helping” the family finances for my son’s therapy, either. There were many purchases and unforeseen appliance issues.  I’m sure that comes along with starting a new business, but there have been many times when I’ve thought, “Is this even worth it?” 

I’m not calling it a “resolution”, but I do have a goal to get some balance with the business and my family. Every single day that I’m not able to work with my child and help him come up with some skills to memorize his scripture and spelling words, is critical. This is why I’m here. My “job” is helping my child deal with this disability. The biggest difference between my thinking 3 months ago and now is that I now have faith that we will be able to pay for what comes along. I’m publicly deciding to put my faith in God and wondering if I had put it in cakes for the past few months….

But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Luke 12:31 (NIV)

11 Hours a Day Processing

I thought I'd end this very busy month with a blog entry from this super cool teenage girl who has APD. She wrote a blog entry specifically for parents who have questions about her APD.

I've got to be honest... I NEVER thought about how Jared's APD would affect his driving. And, of course, I now have to force myself not to stress over that!

It's a long blog entry, but anyone who knows anyone with APD must read it. She is a phenomenal young lady who truly is helping with APD awareness. Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

7 hours a day we are processing information, and it’s hard and complex things that we are “asked” to process. 3-4 (or more) hours after that, we have to work on homework based on the information that was processed for 7 hours straight to us…So we have to go back and re-process what was being said in those 7 hours, and try to break those 7 hours down into just 3-4 hours of homework, and summarizing is not a strong suite. Are you stressed out just reading that? – I am! That was hard to write for me! Take 7 (hours in school) + 4(hour on homework or more) and times that by 7 (days a week) and you get 77(or more) hours a week spent on complex and hard information that needs to be processed. That’s just a week. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is equal to 168 hours a week. 77 hours is almost half of 168 hours a week. No kid, or no adult wants to spend that amount of time on something that is difficult for them.

When there is something that is easy for me, and fun (like babysitting, field hockey, or photography…) that BENEFITS me I want to do my best at it. It’s fun, and I’m good at it! It’s EASY, and not a lot of things in life living with Auditory Processing Disorder as teenager are easy. That’s why if you pick a major you like in college, or a job you really enjoy, there is not a thought about being lazy because you LIKE it and you want to work at it. But if you don’t like the major you’re in, or you hate your job, you’re going to become lazy because it’s not what you like to do.

This goes for everyone in the world, but it’s rare for someone with APD to say something is “easy” all the time, so when there is something easy and fun, it’s incredible!
Today, I dread going to school, and thinking how I am not even half way done with my school year yet, or that I have next year as well, but those are just thoughts, and I do have to learn how to control them and make them positive. Even for you as a parent it will help to focus on the smaller things your daughter has to finish, than the things far away. I probably said that easier than it is to do, but the bigger you make things, the harder they will be.

I didn’t know I had APD until I was 13 years old. So before that, I knew I’d always be mocked or bullied, or not invited to things but I didn’t know why. All young kids want to know “why?” Think about it… If you told your kid “You can’t go to Jimmy’s Birthday party on Saturday” and not explain to them “why”, they are going to be frusterated, don’t you think? It’s the same things when kids don’t understand why a certain friend doesn’t invite them, or why they are placed in school as “un cool” even though they’re super nice and athletic. It takes time to figure that stuff out. I’m still working on it and I’m 16. I want to know “why” all the time, but I don’t want to know “why” as much as I did when I was younger. As I grow, I learn not to worry about things as much as I did when I was younger.

Here is the full blog entry. Enjoy:

http://apdwarrior17.blogspot.com/2011/11/real-questions-asked-by-real-parents.html

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it John 1:4-5 (NIV)

"How Old You Are"

"Eh old you?" he asked me.
"What?" I said. "What are you trying to say?"
"Old you are?" he said.
"How old am I?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Say, 'How old are you', Jared"
"How old you are" he replied.
"Try again. How old are you?"
"How old you are" he said again.
"Let's try this slowly. How."
"How", he echoed
"Old"
"Old", he echoed.
"Are"
"Are", he echoed.
"You"
"You", he said.
"How old are you", I said.
"How old you are", he replied.

It was my birthday. We repeated this series of words about 3 times before he made a statement that sounded like this - "Ha ode aw you".

How is that even possible? He speaks "normally". He doesn't have a speech impediment. However, you put certain words together, and suddenly he can't pronounce them? Upon all my researching, I know this is classic APD and/or dyslexia.

Let me tell you. It's sobering. Your kid is doing great in school, at memorization.... you feel like your prayers are being answered and this life-long disability is fading away or even, by miracle, disappearing. Then, you realize he can't even say, "How old are you".

The next day, my husband returned from out of town and I was eager to show him. "Jared, Jared. Say, 'how old are you'". Ray and I looked at him, and he replied... just as perfectly as can be... "how old are you." What? Wait. Wait. Wait. "Say it again, Jared". Again, he repeated it perfectly. There was no speech problem. It was perfect. Ray looked at me, quizzically. I said, "He couldn't say it yesterday!"

Ah, the mysteries.... 

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. " Deuteronomy 29:29 (NIV)

Smelling Roses

I can't believe I actually have a moment to write another blog entry. This has been a wild month. The death of a dear friend, and the events around that, consumed a great deal of the past few weeks. Add traveling to visit Ray's family and not having a computer for the majority of the month, coupled with a large number of work orders, and I don't believe I've had a peaceful moment in what used to be my favorite month.

I have to slow down. I have to "stop and smell the roses". I want to research more ways to help my son. I want to view the Christmas season through the same eyes that my children do. My goal, this week, is to be less busy. Hopefully it works!

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,  but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)

A Turnaround

Wow! This day is definitely not ending the way it began. It's like the Heavens opened up and poured multiple blessings down upon me. First of all, I was able to get a hold of my business files/information. My computer is still messed up, but the craziest thing happened. The mother of two of my piano students paid me 3 months in advance. What? She has no idea about my computer or business/time/money woes trying to fix this mess. Then... of all things... my mother in law decided to give the four of us, individually, some cash.  She definitely doesn't know anything about our financial situation. She's never done that before and now I'm well on my way to finding out a computer solution. With a little bit of financial wiggle room, I'm hoping to have a nice back-up system so I hopefully will not feel like the small business woes have overcome me.

It's kind of weird that finally, when I decided to pour out all my fears and worries out loud (or on this blog) after days and days of keeping it all inside, the day just turned around. Praise God.

All glory to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, forever. Amen. Romans 16:27 (NLT)

Growing Pains

The good news: it's been a good few weeks for Jared. The bad news: it hasn't been for me.

Starting a new business has been hard. My husband told me how quickly I would be swamped with customers, but I truly had no idea. I've had to turn many orders away, and yet I'm still having some days where there are 15 technical cakes or cookie bouquets due. Not in one week. In one day! I'm up no later than 5am and my head doesn't hit the pillow until around 1am. Sleep is restless as my mind never stops. 

I had thought I was getting into the swing of things... that is, until my computer crashed. This was the side of the business I hadn't been diligent with, as I had been with all my customer orders. I hadn't backed up my previous 5 days of things. My business files were out there on a server somewhere, but I didn't have a computer to access them. There were important files and information I needed. I couldn't print out the edible images needed for my orders. I couldn't remember which customers' checks I had deposited. It was horrible. I had thankfully scribbled on an envelope the 8 important orders I had due over the next 2 days, or I really would have been up a creek.  

My husband has let me borrow his computer until I figure out how to fix everything. His laptop doesn't like me. It could be because I immediately downloaded all my printer drivers and business software on it and it feels a little overweight. I don't know. The only thing I know is that this has made me feel like a failure.

If something like this would have happened to a friend or family member, I'd ask how I could help and be positive and say things like, "We'll get through this" and "You can do this" and "It's just business growing pains". But I don't say things like this to myself. I've succeeded at all business oriented things in my life. I've thrived in every job I've ever had. But now? I've never had so many days of feeling like I can't do this or I'm a big, fat failure. I know my product is good, but how do I wrap myself around the behind the scenes management?  These customers don't want a call from me asking when and where and to whom do I deliver their wedding cake after I've already had two meetings with them confirming everything. It never occurred to me to have a computer back up plan because from day one, I was up and running and had 65 orders come in my very first day in business.

So, this morning... at 2:30am... I was philosophically thinking about why this was happening. This last week has had too many puffy eyed mornings, filled with hope that my computer would magically be healed, but inevitably the morning would be filled with silent tears as I try to figure out the next step. While wondering this, I thought of  Jared. According to research, he's going to feel this way in many areas of his life. He's probably not going to have 20 years of business success, as I have, before his first hiccup. Jobs are most likely going to be tough for him. He can't give up (like I want to!). I will encourage him. I know how successful he can be, no matter what the world or research says. I just need to keep telling myself this, also. I started this business because we need the money for his therapy. I can't give up, no matter how bad I feel, because his neurological therapy is critical. I just have to get in the right mindset. I feel like my 2:30am wake up call was what I needed to do so.

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 (NLT)

First Report Card

I met with Jared's teacher on Friday and I received his first report card. Wow! I was pleasantly surprised. He did sooooo well! I'm still shocked by how well he's doing, but more importantly, I'm so proud of him! His teacher also commented on how well he's memorizing things, considering everything she's read about APD. I agreed with her regarding that. I'm still in awe of his memorization skills. Hopefully I can post some video of him reciting his verses this month.

Rise up, O Lord, in all your power. With music and singing we celebrate your mighty acts. Psalm 21:13 (NLT)

The "Girlfriend"

There is a girl in Jared's class named Emma. Apparently, she has a huge crush on Jared. He has never mentioned anything to me about it. A friend of mine, who's daughter is in his class, told me a few weeks ago that Emma kissed Jared at school. When I asked him about it, he smiled and said that she got in trouble. I hadn't really thought much about Emma, until I met her mom this week.

When I introduced myself as Jared's mom, she immediately said, "I am so sorry. We are really working with Emma. She's just very tactile." I had no idea what she was talking about, so I said, "Oh, you're Emma's mom?" She proceeded to apologize more. It was very strange. That same day, when we were leaving school, Jared saw her (I still haven't seen what she even looks like!) and said, "Bye, Emma". All I heard was, "Bye, Cutie!" Of course, I laughed at how vocal she was... from across a parking lot.  "Jared, does she always call you 'cutie'?" He said that she does. Hmmm. weird.

Upon furthering my investigation, I flat-out asked him if she was his girlfriend, because I wanted to hear his response. He said "no". I said, "well, is she pretty?" He said "yes". The high school girl came out in me, because I don't know what this girl looks like (and I'm trying to visual all the girls at school pick-up). "Is she prettier than Ryan?" He said "no". "Is she prettier than Ashley?" He said "no". Hmm. Who is this girl? He told me she gets in trouble a lot at school. And there's another girl in the class who gets in trouble more than Emma does. Once I found out that there were 2 kids in Jared's class whose behavior received many more marks than Jared's does, I could care less about the girlfriend issue, as I was so elated to not have the child with the most marks in the class... for the first time!

When I mentioned Emma to my parents, they both growled. My mom said, "I told the teacher not to let her by Jared!" My dad said that Emma was holding Jared in a bear hug and refused to let Jared hug him. Apparently, they were appalled at how she couldn't keep her hands off him on Grandparents day. Emma's grandmother was even telling her to keep her hands to herself. This explains why her mother felt she needed to apologize upon meeting me. Little did she know that my parents hadn't even mentioned any of this.

I really want to see what this girl looks like, so I can put a picture to her name. Even though she sounds annoying to Jared, he still likes her and thinks she's funny. And, what can I say? She's got great taste!

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. Galations 5:22 (NLT)

Setting Goals and Scoring Goals

Today was our 6th soccer match of the season. This is an odd season, as Jared really doesn't seem to enjoy soccer anymore. In fact, he didn't want to play in the game today. So, as we were driving over there Ray and I were talking about him not playing a 6th season (next spring) and possibly swimming instead. I quietly said to Ray, "He's not very good at soccer. I can't believe he hasn't even scored a goal this season. I guess he's just not meant to play soccer." This is the first season he hadn't scored at least one goal. Ray agreed and said, "Well, the last 2 games proved that. He doesn't want to be on the field. He just wanders around the field." With those words, I was already prepared to start the research on swim options.

However, I quickly came up with a plan. I had 8 cake/cupcake orders due in the few hours before that moment and a number of them paid in cash. I normally don't have cash laying around, so I blurted out, "Jared, if you score a goal today, I'll give you ten dollars." Immediately, Jared started praying out loud, "God, please help me score a goal today so I can buy a toy snake."

We walked over to the pitch and reminded him again the direction of his goal and that there was a $10 prize. Within a minute of him playing the match, he scored a goal. He was so proud. We were so proud. The crowd was cheering, as the other team wasn't an easy team to beat. In fact, they had already scored a goal or two before Jared subbed in and scored his goal.

The mom next to me was the one behind my inspiration. She had promised her daughter $20 if she scored a goal. At the time I thought it was ludicrous. It has been 6 games and she still hasn't scored a goal. She was cheering so  loud when our plan worked and Jared scored a goal. And, wouldn't you know? He then scored a second goal after half time. Some parents came over, cheering, as if to say, "There he is! I was wondering where he was this season!" The funniest part of all is that another boy, Roman, who hadn't scored this season scored two goals today. When I asked his dad (jokingly) if he had promised him money, he said YES! Now we know what motivates 6 year olds! I'm just worried that my little boy is going to want more money for the last 2 games.

As we were walking back to the car Jared said, "I prayed to God and he helped me score two goals!" Ah... that was my favorite part of the day.

“Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!” Proverbs 15:23 (NLT)

Cooler Weather

The weather has cooled a bit and we are loving it! Last year, by this time, Jared had already had a couple big asthma problems and allergy attacks. This year, it's been really good. I don't know if it has to do with taking dairy out of his diet a few months ago, or if it's just the change in the air. Nevertheless, it's great.

He's successful with his school work. There was a big test today on some spelling/sight words. Since we had already memorized them last summer, he was ahead of the game. His reading skills are progressing, but he still continues to "guess" at the words. I don't know if this is normal or if he's just making up for his learning disability. For example, if there's a picture of Sam on the beach with shells and the text says, "Sam and the shells are in the sand." Jared will start out reading the beginning of the sentence and then just kind of make up his own, according to how he views the picture. "Sam and the shells are on the beach." He's more about the "big picture" than actually having to slow down and read text. This is how he was with his flashcards for today's test. I held up one flash card and he proceded to tell me that word, and another 6 words after it (before I had even switched the card). He had them memorized and was letting me know he was finished with the flash cards. Haha. This all goes back to what Dr. Champagne told me last spring. Jared likes to do things his way. He doesn't slow down enough to figure out what's going on. He "makes up his own rules".

Obviously, that's a "red flag", as no parent wants their kid making up their own rules. So, right now we're working on slowing down and listening to instructions and then doing exactly what was asked. With Jared, it truly is harder than it sounds.

Here are my boys, enjoying this morning's cool weather.


Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3 (NIV)

Avoidance

I often wonder if people dread Parent Teacher Conferences as much as I do. This morning, I actually started weighing pros and cons of homeschooling because I didn't want to attend the meeting with the teacher. Yes, I definitely have avoidance issues. It's still a couple weeks away, but I really don't want to go. I didn't want to go to Zane's meeting either, and it turned out fine.  Unfortunately, he likes to wrestle during class time, which we're working on stopping. And Jared's issue? Well, he talks too much. He talks when he's not supposed to talk.

I talk to Jared about not talking in class, or when the teacher's talking, or at lunch time (kids aren't allowed to talk for a required amount of minutes, so they can eat). He knows he's not supposed to, but I guess it just comes down to self control.

Part of me is jealous of folks who have it so easy with their kids who don't misbehave at school. Then I remember that my parents had two of those kids. So, perhaps this is due to me. I'm still trying to figure out what I can learn from this and how this can help me develop into a better person... perhaps a person who doesn't write out pros and cons just to avoid a 15 minute meeting.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Memorization

I took a break from this blog and now I don't quite know where to start. Business has been very busy, so the spare time that I do have is spent working with Jared on memorization.  I have always been known for my memory. In school, it was the top thing I never had to worry about. There are times in my life where I have begged God to erase ridiculous numbers and events that, I was certain, were cluttering up my brain. Every time there was a puzzle or anything to do with memory, my friends would often say that no one needed to write it down because I was there and would just remember it. Let me tell you, remembering a lot of things can be a blessing and a curse. I don't expect either of my kids to have a memory like mine, however I also know that memorization can make things a lot easier.

This school year, I am in awe of Jared's memorization skills. I guess I had read so much about APD kids not memorizing well, that I had already sentenced him to a life without memorization. Each week when we work on his scripture memory, he not only memorizes a few sentences, he also remembers the scripture later, when you ask him. Sure, there are a few "the" and "a" and adjective mishaps, which is normal for APD. However, he has said each one with perfection, at least a couple times. The reference numbers are more difficult. He sometimes can't distinguish between 13 and 30 when he hears it. Psalm 13 soon becomes 30 or 14 becomes 40.

The students in his class are numbered. They do things in order of their numbers. Jared is number one. So, he actually has to say his scripture first. He doesn't even get to hear others say it to remember it. This makes me so proud.

You know what else makes me proud? All that home schooling we did last summer is now sprouting benefits. The students are memorizing words and Jared already knows them! We worked on them throughout the summer, so he's ahead of the game. That gives us extra time to go over some really hard words that will be more difficult for him to spell. Yesterday morning, when he woke up, he even grabbed his 100 flashcards of words and started drilling himself! Go, Jared!

Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You. Psalm 119:11 (NKJ)

deraJ

Jared is starting to learn cursive handwriting in school. It's supposed to be easier for dyslexic kids to learn cursive, so we're blessed that the school he's in has all kindergartners writing in cursive by December. 

I thought this would be a good time to demonstrate how Jared writes his name.

Normally, it looks like something like this:

Occasionally, he'll get a few letters backwards and add some random things:

Today, it looked like this. At first I thought he wrote a backwards J and then attached a D to it, but quickly realized that is his cursive D starting off his backwards name. When I asked, "What is this?" He said, "It's my name. It says Jared."

I can't even begin to understand why his brain does this. Yes, I've been told by the experts, but it's still hard to fathom. Most days it's fine, but when I see this it feels like a ton of bricks just fell on me. This is his life. This is his battle.

I cry out to the Lord, I plead for the Lord's mercy. I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles. Psalm 142:1-2 (NLT) 

A Better Understanding

Today I read the article, "Gifted Dyslexics: More Common Than Most People Think". It shares about famous folks with dyslexia and helps people better understand the condition. So many people don't understand it. I've talked about it  during Jared's soccer matches... because I worry he might kick it to the wrong goal (and he has not!) I think people question that theory, as they assume dyslexia just refers to reading. Here are a few nuggets I especially liked in this article:

When most people hear the D word, they think reading. "But reading difficulties are just one part of this condition," according to Fernette Eide, M.D., a leading learning specialist and physician who, with her husband, Brock Eide, M.D. M.A., runs the Eide Neurolearning Clinic in Edmonds, Washington. The clinic specializes in the evaluation and care of children with school and learning challenges. As they write in their book The Mislabeled Child (Hyperion), "Children with dyslexia often struggle not only with reading but also with handwriting, spelling, oral language, math, motor planning and coordination, organization, sequencing, orientation to time, focus and attention, right-left orientation, auditory and visual processing and memory."

"They stretch the boundaries," Brock Eide says. "When they read, they can't just automatically match sounds and letters, so they use contextual cues and problem solving and no one may realize there's a problem." Dyslexic kids grow so good at problem solving, at finding alternative ways to compensate for the fact that they can't read, that they become expert brainstormers. "Dyslexic children often become some of society's greatest thinkers," Brock Eide says.

And my favorite line - "...don't be so heartbroken by a diagnosis like 'learning disability' that you fail to see a gift."

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17 (NIV)

Fantastic News!

I just received some extraordinary news!  After meeting with Jared's principal and teacher this afternoon, I am elated.

As I mentioned previously, Jared will be part of an intervention program at school. That intervention program, of course, costs money. I was not aware of the cost until our meeting today. It's $2,160. "Well, this is why I have my new job", I thought. However, here's the exciting part:
"Because the program is new and the two Academic Language Therapists are still under supervision, each therapist must obtain a student in which reports must be sent to a supervisor along with a few video tapings of the Therapists teaching a student. If the aforementioned would be allowed with Jared (reports being sent to supervisor and video of therapists teaching Jared), the fees would be exempted. Please know that all personal information direction related to Jared and his family would be anonymous. The therapists are being scrutinized, not the student."

After hearing this, I must say that the news about the $2,160 falls short of the best news in this. The therapist has ONE student. Just ONE. Her future depends on how well they both do. It's like he's the subject of her PHd or something! Can I add another exclamation point? One student! Reports on ONE student! I had tears in my eyes. This means someone is as concerned with his progress as I am! This means that he's her "grade" for the entire year! (Okay, that's enough exclamation points... but you get how excited I am.)

“Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.” Joel 2:23 (NIV)

Calming My Inside

Every day, my insides are a mess. I couldn't imagine how a parent who doesn't constantly wonder how her child is doing at school feels inside. I  dream of that peace. I can't seem to let my anxiety go. I'm waiting for some horrible wall to crumble or ax to fall or something. Sometimes my angst is a little debilitating. I look at his schedule to see where he would be at that time. I sit on the floor. I pray. I get a little emotional, as I don't have control over any of this and I just want him to be okay. I just want him to feel normal. I just want him to want to be at school... at least most of the time.  

I can't stand feeling this way. I can't stand that I'm holding on to something, instead of letting it go, knowing God is in control of this. Jared is doing well at school. In fact, I'm almost shocked at how well he's doing. His teacher wrote me an email that said, "He has been doing very well with first time obedience, just a reminder is all that he needs most of the time, then he looks at me to listen. I would ask that you remind him to be quieter at rest time so he can relax and get refreshed for the rest of the day."

I never dreamed I'd have a child with so many challenges. I still don't know how this is all supposed to work out with him in such an advanced academic school. Every day I cover him in prayer and hope that he has an okay day.  Since I haven't been home schooling him the past few weeks, his APD tendencies seem to really shine, including repeating questions over and over. He also seems more insecure, because we're not working one on one with phonics drills. I guess I just really don't know how to help him now that he's in school full time. I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can, as these years of his life are so critical.

So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. Galatians 3:9 (NIV)

It's Hot!

Y'all, it's hot out there. Hot. Hot. Hot. We're trying to keep my never-standing-still boys hydrated, but this heat is saturating! Jared is 100% healthy this week and is doing great in school. Last Wednesday, he received a perfect weekly folder score. He's only received approximately 3 of those in 2 years! I'm hoping he does well in tomorrow's folder too. And, of course he's doing well in soccer. Here are some posts from today's practice.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Philippians 4:4 (NIV)

FM System?

I stumbled across a goldmine. Well, I believe it's a goldmine. I found a teen with APD's blog. It's good. And, she's linked to other really cool APD blogs. I can't believe I didn't find these sooner. After all my months of trying to find "good" ones, I guess I had to find one to find the others. I haven't even begun to read everything, but can't wait to learn some more perspective from these kids with APD.

One thing that tends to come up in these blogs, or APD talk, is an FM system. Since I haven't written a blog entry on this subject, I thought I'd do it now. FM systems are one option for helping eliminate background noise in the classroom. I have always wondered if Jared would benefit from this. He would wear some headphones and his teacher would have a small mic and he'd hear her more clearly. It's not for everyone. If Jared doesn't have difficulty with speech clarity, it might not work for him. We don't really know his specific APD profile right now, as he's so young. But, then again, I think... maybe this is the time to try something like this out... while he's in the younger grades so he doesn't feel as "different". Who am I kidding? Wearing a hearing device will probably make him feel awkward in any grade. Or, will it?


I found this blog entry for a sweet teen who wrote about her experience with it: "You’re thinking 'isn’t it awkward or embarrassing to have to go to the front of the classroom and make the teacher wear a microphone and you have to wear earplugs? What do the other kids say?' Well, yes. It is awkward and sort of embarrassing, but I’m getting over that. I try not to think about it during class, because if I let that bother me too much, it would be worse than not having it at all and the FM system would be hurting me rather than helping me. Yeah, I’ve had people make some comments to me and made me feel bad about it, weather they meant to or not. But I’m not letting it bother me too much. If I did, then like I said it would be hurting me more than it would be helping me." I like her perspective!

I'm going to continue to research and see what age is best to possibly try this out

Moses replied: “It is not the sound of victory, it is not the sound of defeat; it is the sound of singing that I hear.” Exodus 32:18 (NIV)

Dumb, Stupid, Loser

I could not have found this video at a better time! Today, Jared struggled so much with wanting to go to school. He says it's too long and he can't seem to focus. And, by the time he was at soccer practice tonight he was calling himself "dumb" and a "loser". Where in the world does he get that?! A loser? I don't even know where he heard that word and why he called himself that! {crush} {shatter}

I found this video posted on an APD page. I like it. Some of the comments were kind of sad, as dyslexics were trying to read the words going across the screen (something I probably would have chuckled about in the past, but now that my kid has it, my mind goes straight to, "He probably will never be able to see words flash across a screen like this." {crush} {shatter}).

Here's a quote I read today: ..."Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." — Albert Einstein (who is believed to have had some sort of processing problem...)

No one can know a person's thoughts except that person's own spirit, and no one can know God's thoughts except God's own Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:11 (NLT)