Finding My 1 in 5!

Let me tell you about my friend, Brice.

I first remember seeing Brice within the early weeks of my freshman year in college. Out of more than 20,000 students, I saw him often. He lived in the dorm across from mine. He was always chatting with someone, and seemed very popular. Even though we didn't hang within the same social circles, we shared a few classes. We talked in the quad or cafeteria, etc. Brice was the kind of guy who always made you smile. He had this laid back, positive persona and his hugs... oh my... Brice hugs were the best hugs around. He always acted like you were the most important person in the world and he would give you a huge hug to make you believe it. He had no idea how those hugs made some of my glummest days more bearable. Fights with my boyfriend? Blech. Running into Brice in the Quad and getting a "hello hug"? Much better. Even though we were quite possibly on opposite ends of the spectrum of politics/religion, there was always something to connect you to Brice. You'd have to meet him. You'd love him.

During my senior year, his dad died and my heart hurt for him. I didn't know what to do or say. I knew he liked snow boarding so I got him a few magazines, even though it seemed so little. But, Brice was the greeting guy with the hugs. We weren't that close. There were no deep talks... or phone conversations. He was Brice... the guy that everyone seemed to know. And, after college, his love of snowboarding led him to Colorado. Since I also lived in Denver, we started hanging out often.  He was a great swing dance partner, a laid back ear at the pub, and someone with whom I adored spending time.

So, when I was planning a trip to Denver, I contacted him through Facebook to see if we could link up. We hadn't seen each other in 11 or so years, since I had lived there. But, if you know Brice, he's the kind of friend you just pick right up with. We decided to meet at Wahoo's for dinner.

{{Here's where my night gets crazy. In college, Brice's greeting hugs (his 6'4" self hugging my 5'9" self and swinging me around and around like it was nothing) made the weight of my day lighter. And, here he is, nearly 20 years later, making the weight of my day... and year...lighter.}}

Jared was being his awkward self at the beginning of dinner so I explained to Brice that he has APD. I didn't even describe what it was before Brice said, "Oh yeah. I have that. Auditory Discrimination." (check the right panel of this blog to see the definition.) Of course, in my head I was thinking, "No. You don't understand. I don't think you get what it is. There's no way you have this." Of course, Brice - in his casual way - told me that he never even knew he had it when he was a kid. His mom told him he had this learning disorder when he was an adult. When he was a kid, he just remembered being in therapy at a very early age and doing phonics therapy when the other kids were in PE class, etc. 

What? Was I hearing this correctly? I think my jaw actually dropped as the wheels in my head started spinning so fast I couldn't even articulate all the questions I had for him. "Did it just disappear?" "How are you so 'normal'?" "How did I never know your brain jumbled words around?" "How were you such a good student?"  "How did you get through college professor's lectures?" "Don't you have a Masters Degree?" "How do you have this great job? "How do you have so many friends?" When I explained to him all the negative things I've researched and how, as a mom, I feel like this APD brings a life sentence of heartache and pain (like this YouTube video from last year's blog entry), he couldn't believe it.

I still couldn't believe that he was talking about the same thing Jared has. I never thought he had bad spelling or writing skills. He never looked puzzled during our conversations. It's definitely not to the extent of what Jared has right now. He may have been more extreme as a child, and his proactive mom putting him in therapy at an early age helped.

He shared how he still doesn't "hear" a bunch of what people say. He believes that's why he has a mumbling issue. (Again, I never thought of him as a mumbler, but all these years of memories were flashing through my head as I tried to find some time when I felt he was "different". I couldn't.) At dinner, he would stumble over some words and then point it out, like "See that? That's it right there." Whoa. I was sitting across the booth from 2 really great guys with APD.

Some experts believe that 1 in 5 kids have APD. In America, I've seen the number as 1 in 10. Yet, I've never met anyone my age... let alone, had a 20 year friendship with someone who has this invisible learning disability. And if you didn't get the gist from this blog entry... if you met him, you'd never even know that he had it. It's truly invisible.

After a tough APD weekend with my child, God knew I needed this success story! It's better than the best hug I could imagine.

I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NCV)

 

Spelling & Report Cards

Tomorrow is Jared's first "real" spelling test. I've been wondering how he'd do, so I gave him a pre-test this morning. He did fantastic! He only struggled with one word. I'm so happy for him.

I do know that each day is different with him. There are some days where his schoolwork makes you want to say, "APD? What APD?" There are other days, however, where every single word he writes, including his name, is the most bizarre writing I've seen. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a good day and he'll be able to spell all his words, and recite his memory verse, to the best of his ability.

He gets so excited when he does well. He's going around saying, "I can write in curvis" (he swaps some letters around at times). He wrote all his spelling words in cursive and he is proud.

Tomorrow, we receive his second report card. I was thinking back to when I was a kid and I don't ever remember feeling anxious about report cards. My parents didn't make a big deal out of them, as long as my brother and I received "A's"... which we did. And, as an A student, I knew everything would be fine. I remember my friends stressing out about their parents seeing their report cards. I'm now wondering if God saved me from my school day grade stress because he knew I'd be so anxious about receiving Jared's report cards. Even if I tell myself, "It's okay, Kat. It's no biggie. He's 6 years old", inside I feel like a cheerleader in the last few seconds of a tied championship game, filled with anticipation and angst. Go, Jared, Go!

So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. Galatians 3:9 (NIV)

I Am His Dinner, He is My Chocolate Cake

Today I stumbled upon a blog entry written by a mom who's young daughter has APD. Her child was crying because she couldn't spell a word (we go through that around here often). I hurt for the mom AND the child, as I read the entry. 

Okay -- side note -- Jared JUST walked in here and said, "Mommy, I love you and I want to show God's love to you by giving you this." He pulled out 2 yellow flowers that he just picked. {melt my heart}

So, anyway, the mom posted this great poem. You can read her blog entry here if you'd like to read more.  I enjoyed this poem. Hope you do too.

You Are My I Love You 

Author: Maryann K Cusimano

I am your parent you are my child
I am your quiet place, you are my wild
I am your calm face, you are my giggle
I am your wait, you are my wiggle
I am your audience, you are my clown
... I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down
I am your carrot sticks, you are my licorice
I am your dandelion, you are my first wish
I am your water wings, you are my deep
I am your open arms, you are my running leap
I am your way home, you are my new path
I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath
I am your dinner you are my chocolate cake
I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake
I am your finish line, you are my race
I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace
I am your favourite book, you are my new lines
I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine
I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo
I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you. ♥

 

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:12 (NIV)

 

 

Differences

My children are opposite. I know it's normal for kids to not be alike, but mine are soooo different, it's eye-opening. Yesterday was a clear example of how different they are.

I usually don't get much time alone, as Jared is always seeking interaction. If it's not something he wants to show me, it's something he wants from me. He's very inquisitive and hands on, in nature. Anyone who knows Jared knows he has quite an imagination. There are occasions when my brain hurts, merely having a conversation with him. He is extremely active, too. 

As Ray will say, I'm definitely not one to cry over spilled milk. I calmly clean it up... just like I cleaned up the glass of water he spilled on the coffee table yesterday. That's no biggie. It's water. It was an accident. Who cares? I didn't. I then calmly cleaned up {and he helped} the 4 gallons of water that he spilled all over the living room floor, 10 minutes after he spilled the glass of water. Of course, while I'm doing all this, I'm answering hundreds of questions about hot lava and dinosaurs. Taking my pitcher to the back yard to collect worms? Check. Decorating the dog until he gets so upset, he snaps? Check. Climbing the tree, with the dog? Check. Making a tornado in a bottle? Check. Playing Big Wheel Bowling, where he lines up the patio furniture and runs into it all at full speed on his Big Wheel? Check. All within a matter of 45 minutes.

My parents took Jared last night so he could see his school's homecoming game and spend the night with them. It was just Zane and me. It was so peaceful.  Zane is very independent. He is so quiet, it’s easy to forget he’s here… especially if there are LEGOs.  In fact, I started working on an order and forgot about his bed time, which is 7pm. Around 8:30pm, he told me he was tired. Jared wears me out all day long that I usually have them upstairs by 6:30pm, getting them ready for bed. I was definitely counting my blessings and having a zen-mommy moment last night... until 4am.

I felt my 3 year old crawl into bed with me. "What's going on?", I asked him. "Jared said there are monsters up there."  I guess it's easier for a 6 year old to rub off on a 3 year old, than the other way around. Oh well, I sure do love both of them and all their quirkiness!

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIV) 

It's Too Hard

This was a rough week back at school for Jared. He mentioned, on many occasions, that he didn't like school and didn't want to be there. We knew he really enjoyed his Christmas vacation, so we started working with him early in the week on his scripture memorization. Ray worked with him nightly and I worked with him in the mornings. 

Today, as we were reviewing the verse in the car, he could not get it. And, let me tell you, I would not have won any awards for motherhood either. If you were driving anywhere near my car, you would have seen me periodically pull out his favorite stuffed red dragon and hold it out the window, threatening to throw it, while my little boy was begging me to not throw his favorite "lovey". {I can't even believe I just admitted my heinous crime to the world} Don't worry. The dragon is fine. I eventually got my frustration in check and apologized for my ridiculous actions. I was just so sick of hearing, "It's too hard!" My reaction is, "Well, you know what? It's ONLY going to get harder." He doesn't get it.

Speaking of anger, he had an angry week. In fact, I've never seen him so angry with things. I knew it had to do with school and when the window-dragon-throwing-crazy-momma morning happened this morning, it all made sense. He told me he couldn't do it. He wasn't smart enough. He told me his brain wouldn't work. I haven't heard words like those in months, so I wasn't prepared for them. 

After I dropped him off, the tears started falling for my child. I knew that Bible verse was hard. I knew why he could only say, "We know that all good things come to those called according to His purpose". APD symptoms clearly state that kids can only remember the first and last words they hear. Our Christmas vacation was over and APD slapped us in the face this week.

Ray and I wondered if we should get him back in to see Dr. Champagne ASAP. We know that it's a lot to ask kids to sit in entire days of school and then go to hours of therapy, so it's never our first choice. However, we know that he'll never be able to keep up in this school! We didn't have to spend very long thinking about it because God arranged a divine appointment with Jared's principal this afternoon and I told her our concerns. She is having a formal meeting with me next week, and told us to just keep encouraging him because he needs confidence. {nope - didn't tell her about my 'encouraging' dragon moment this morning!} My favorite part of the conversation went something like this: "He shouldn't have to memorize the exact verse like the other kids do. I didn't know his teacher was making him do that. There's no way he can do that with his APD. Our goal at this school is to make sure kids understand the verse, so they can hide it in their hearts. As long as we make sure he knows what the verse says, he should be fine." Whew! And, on that note, I'll leave you with the verse.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NKJ)