"Eh old you?" he asked me.
"What?" I said. "What are you trying to say?"
"Old you are?" he said.
"How old am I?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Say, 'How old are you', Jared"
"How old you are" he replied.
"Try again. How old are you?"
"How old you are" he said again.
"Let's try this slowly. How."
"How", he echoed
"Old"
"Old", he echoed.
"Are"
"Are", he echoed.
"You"
"You", he said.
"How old are you", I said.
"How old you are", he replied.
It was my birthday. We repeated this series of words about 3 times before he made a statement that sounded like this - "Ha ode aw you".
How is that even possible? He speaks "normally". He doesn't have a speech impediment. However, you put certain words together, and suddenly he can't pronounce them? Upon all my researching, I know this is classic APD and/or dyslexia.
Let me tell you. It's sobering. Your kid is doing great in school, at memorization.... you feel like your prayers are being answered and this life-long disability is fading away or even, by miracle, disappearing. Then, you realize he can't even say, "How old are you".
The next day, my husband returned from out of town and I was eager to show him. "Jared, Jared. Say, 'how old are you'". Ray and I looked at him, and he replied... just as perfectly as can be... "how old are you." What? Wait. Wait. Wait. "Say it again, Jared". Again, he repeated it perfectly. There was no speech problem. It was perfect. Ray looked at me, quizzically. I said, "He couldn't say it yesterday!"
Ah, the mysteries....
"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. " Deuteronomy 29:29 (NIV)
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Smelling Roses
I can't believe I actually have a moment to write another blog entry. This has been a wild month. The death of a dear friend, and the events around that, consumed a great deal of the past few weeks. Add traveling to visit Ray's family and not having a computer for the majority of the month, coupled with a large number of work orders, and I don't believe I've had a peaceful moment in what used to be my favorite month.
I have to slow down. I have to "stop and smell the roses". I want to research more ways to help my son. I want to view the Christmas season through the same eyes that my children do. My goal, this week, is to be less busy. Hopefully it works!
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)
I have to slow down. I have to "stop and smell the roses". I want to research more ways to help my son. I want to view the Christmas season through the same eyes that my children do. My goal, this week, is to be less busy. Hopefully it works!
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
A Turnaround
Wow! This day is definitely not ending the way it began. It's like the Heavens opened up and poured multiple blessings down upon me. First of all, I was able to get a hold of my business files/information. My computer is still messed up, but the craziest thing happened. The mother of two of my piano students paid me 3 months in advance. What? She has no idea about my computer or business/time/money woes trying to fix this mess. Then... of all things... my mother in law decided to give the four of us, individually, some cash. She definitely doesn't know anything about our financial situation. She's never done that before and now I'm well on my way to finding out a computer solution. With a little bit of financial wiggle room, I'm hoping to have a nice back-up system so I hopefully will not feel like the small business woes have overcome me.
It's kind of weird that finally, when I decided to pour out all my fears and worries out loud (or on this blog) after days and days of keeping it all inside, the day just turned around. Praise God.
All glory to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, forever. Amen. Romans 16:27 (NLT)
It's kind of weird that finally, when I decided to pour out all my fears and worries out loud (or on this blog) after days and days of keeping it all inside, the day just turned around. Praise God.
All glory to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, forever. Amen. Romans 16:27 (NLT)
Growing Pains
The good news: it's been a good few weeks for Jared. The bad news: it hasn't been for me.
Starting a new business has been hard. My husband told me how quickly I would be swamped with customers, but I truly had no idea. I've had to turn many orders away, and yet I'm still having some days where there are 15 technical cakes or cookie bouquets due. Not in one week. In one day! I'm up no later than 5am and my head doesn't hit the pillow until around 1am. Sleep is restless as my mind never stops.
I had thought I was getting into the swing of things... that is, until my computer crashed. This was the side of the business I hadn't been diligent with, as I had been with all my customer orders. I hadn't backed up my previous 5 days of things. My business files were out there on a server somewhere, but I didn't have a computer to access them. There were important files and information I needed. I couldn't print out the edible images needed for my orders. I couldn't remember which customers' checks I had deposited. It was horrible. I had thankfully scribbled on an envelope the 8 important orders I had due over the next 2 days, or I really would have been up a creek.
My husband has let me borrow his computer until I figure out how to fix everything. His laptop doesn't like me. It could be because I immediately downloaded all my printer drivers and business software on it and it feels a little overweight. I don't know. The only thing I know is that this has made me feel like a failure.
If something like this would have happened to a friend or family member, I'd ask how I could help and be positive and say things like, "We'll get through this" and "You can do this" and "It's just business growing pains". But I don't say things like this to myself. I've succeeded at all business oriented things in my life. I've thrived in every job I've ever had. But now? I've never had so many days of feeling like I can't do this or I'm a big, fat failure. I know my product is good, but how do I wrap myself around the behind the scenes management? These customers don't want a call from me asking when and where and to whom do I deliver their wedding cake after I've already had two meetings with them confirming everything. It never occurred to me to have a computer back up plan because from day one, I was up and running and had 65 orders come in my very first day in business.
So, this morning... at 2:30am... I was philosophically thinking about why this was happening. This last week has had too many puffy eyed mornings, filled with hope that my computer would magically be healed, but inevitably the morning would be filled with silent tears as I try to figure out the next step. While wondering this, I thought of Jared. According to research, he's going to feel this way in many areas of his life. He's probably not going to have 20 years of business success, as I have, before his first hiccup. Jobs are most likely going to be tough for him. He can't give up (like I want to!). I will encourage him. I know how successful he can be, no matter what the world or research says. I just need to keep telling myself this, also. I started this business because we need the money for his therapy. I can't give up, no matter how bad I feel, because his neurological therapy is critical. I just have to get in the right mindset. I feel like my 2:30am wake up call was what I needed to do so.
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 (NLT)
Starting a new business has been hard. My husband told me how quickly I would be swamped with customers, but I truly had no idea. I've had to turn many orders away, and yet I'm still having some days where there are 15 technical cakes or cookie bouquets due. Not in one week. In one day! I'm up no later than 5am and my head doesn't hit the pillow until around 1am. Sleep is restless as my mind never stops.
I had thought I was getting into the swing of things... that is, until my computer crashed. This was the side of the business I hadn't been diligent with, as I had been with all my customer orders. I hadn't backed up my previous 5 days of things. My business files were out there on a server somewhere, but I didn't have a computer to access them. There were important files and information I needed. I couldn't print out the edible images needed for my orders. I couldn't remember which customers' checks I had deposited. It was horrible. I had thankfully scribbled on an envelope the 8 important orders I had due over the next 2 days, or I really would have been up a creek.
My husband has let me borrow his computer until I figure out how to fix everything. His laptop doesn't like me. It could be because I immediately downloaded all my printer drivers and business software on it and it feels a little overweight. I don't know. The only thing I know is that this has made me feel like a failure.
If something like this would have happened to a friend or family member, I'd ask how I could help and be positive and say things like, "We'll get through this" and "You can do this" and "It's just business growing pains". But I don't say things like this to myself. I've succeeded at all business oriented things in my life. I've thrived in every job I've ever had. But now? I've never had so many days of feeling like I can't do this or I'm a big, fat failure. I know my product is good, but how do I wrap myself around the behind the scenes management? These customers don't want a call from me asking when and where and to whom do I deliver their wedding cake after I've already had two meetings with them confirming everything. It never occurred to me to have a computer back up plan because from day one, I was up and running and had 65 orders come in my very first day in business.
So, this morning... at 2:30am... I was philosophically thinking about why this was happening. This last week has had too many puffy eyed mornings, filled with hope that my computer would magically be healed, but inevitably the morning would be filled with silent tears as I try to figure out the next step. While wondering this, I thought of Jared. According to research, he's going to feel this way in many areas of his life. He's probably not going to have 20 years of business success, as I have, before his first hiccup. Jobs are most likely going to be tough for him. He can't give up (like I want to!). I will encourage him. I know how successful he can be, no matter what the world or research says. I just need to keep telling myself this, also. I started this business because we need the money for his therapy. I can't give up, no matter how bad I feel, because his neurological therapy is critical. I just have to get in the right mindset. I feel like my 2:30am wake up call was what I needed to do so.
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 (NLT)
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