153 Million

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Those words have penetrated my heart for years. At adoption and orphan conferences, this verse will always be found on shirts or buttons or bags. Who am I kidding? I have a couple orphan shirts that are a few years old. My shirts say that there are 147 million orphans in the world. With the purchase of a shirt, money went to those orphans. Did it help? I hope so. The latest number I saw was 153 million orphans in this world. These children either do not have living parents, have been taken away from their parents or discarded by their parents.

When I was young, my mother used to always say that I would save any animal in the world, if I could. We had a ridiculous amount of pets, including dogs, rabbits, hamsters, and snakes. You want to know how I got the pet cat that was in our family for 17 years? Trapped it on our front porch. That poor kitty didn't stand a chance. I wouldn't let him out of my arms. If I saw an animal, alone... on the street or in the woods... it was mine. My pond turtle, Greenlief, lived quite the life as my pet.

What does this crazy, want-to-save-them-all girl do with a number like 153 million? Cry.

Yesterday, I watched four beautiful adopted siblings perform sign language to a song called "No Longer Slaves".  I watched, as the tears rolled. Unlike my adopted children, these kids were not adopted from birth. These incredible kids, who have a piece of my heart, were chosen by a friend of mine. In just the 16 months I've known her, I've seen and heard her immense sacrifice for these kids. She would probably never put it that way. They are her kids. As moms, we all sacrifice for our kids. But, she went through so much to get these 4 children. She has fought for her family. She has walked through pain that my heart has not seen. 

I recently read two definitions for the word, "hero": champion and shining example. My friend is a hero to me. She heard the cry of the 153 million and did something about it... something big... something that only God could help her and her husband do. 

Here are some lyrics from that song:
From my mothers womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again, into your family
Your blood flows through my veins

Today, I rejoice with my friend and her family.

Today, I hurt for the 153 million. 
{I wish it was as easy as trapping them all on my front porch and never letting them out of my arms.}

Nesting

I have entered the phase of "nesting". I have an overwhelming desire to completely rid my house of about 64% of all items. I have been researching capsule wardrobes and am ready to cut my laundry time down 75%. How did we get so much stuff? I feel like I'm drowning in stuff... mostly laundry. Have I mentioned my laundry? If I say laundry three times, will the 7 piles of clean laundry suddenly become folded and land in drawers? {I believe I saw the movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks too many time as a child.}

I am blowing up a Pinterest board with recipes from the region where our summer orphans currently live. I wish I could be as excited about cooking their region's food as I am about them coming! Who am I kidding? I just don't like to cook. Period.  

I am cleaning out areas that haven't even been opened in years. My cat was shocked to even know these cupboard doors could open. Would you like to know what we keep behind those sacred doors? Pet fish paraphernalia from at least 4 years ago. An ice cream maker, used once in 12 years. An ice bucket that came from who-knows-where. A fondue set that we received as a wedding gift 12 years ago. {guess how many times it's been used? I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with hero.} Can you see the dust and paw prints? Eek.

Along with all this nesting, I'm consumed with the overwhelming guilt of having too much.  I rang in the 2015 new year with that guilt, after realizing the orphanages I went to in Guatemala a few months ago were smaller than my house yet housed about 35 orphans. Since January, I have removed a huge amount of stuff from my house, praying about what God wants us to fill it with instead. Of course, if it was up to me, it would be about 7 orphans. It's not. It's up to God. My planning seems to stink. His planning is extraordinary. I'll take His, any day. While I'm waiting on His direction, I'll keep nesting.

Anyone want a fondue set? 

Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people.  Colossians 3:23

A New Kind of Journey

The main reason I started blogging again was because we have some exciting news for our family. I wanted to write out my thoughts, concerns and prayer requests regarding this news. I wanted to record our adventure for friends to read. We're a family still on a journey... but I did update my blog subtitle to include a little more than my son's APD journey. 

Jared and Pup - photo by Amy Gibbons Photography!

So, for those who followed this blog because you were primarily interested in all I had to write about Auditory Processing Disorder, I apologize. I'm certain that all of Jared's neurological differences will continue to be woven throughout the pages of our journey and this blog. There's not a day that goes by where his dominant right brain traits can cause sublime bursts of laughter, joy, sadness, or itchy frustration. I'll still litter this blog with the concerns of a mom with a "kid with an invisible disability". Only those who have children with complex neuro differences can understand how it is ALWAYS on the forefront in a mom's mind and a family's daily life. I hope you'll stick around... if you are still out there....

Our big news = We are hosting 2 orphans from 
an Eastern European country this summer! 

I have recently learned that the government of this particular country does not allow us to post names, pictures or the actual country name for the children we host. I will find out more about this in our 4 hour training this Saturday. We might be able to post certain things, but for now, all I am saying is that we are excited! I am looking forward to writing about this experience. We are so grateful for this opportunity! 

For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.  Deuteronomy 10:17-18

A Crazy Long Time

How long has it been? *Crazy Long*

I never thought life would slow down enough for me to ever write again. I'm surprised it has... or that I even wanted to write again.

So much has happened in the past few years with Jared. Did he ever learn to read? Yes. Did my tears ever stop flowing? The daily tears subsided. Joy submerged as I started to get to know my beautiful son for who he was and stopped hoping for him to be shoved, perfectly, into some kind of mold {that didn't work}.

Where are we now? We are surrounded... SURROUNDED by love and encouragement. He and I are at a new school and we have incredible friends. He is still with Dr. Champagne twice a week. I've been helping her with marketing and other things, because I feel so indebted to her. She is absolutely wonderful. I could probably write 50 blog entries on all the astounding things I have learned about her in the past few years.

My son still can't read verbal cues very well. That's the area where my frustration seems to linger. He doesn't understand when to stop talking, or to stop repeating things. Although it can be very annoying for many, I'm so thankful that God is so much bigger than his social/verbal cues. Even though I often want to run away when I hear my son repeat something, about 16 times, I continue to thank God for that. For with that deficit, comes a sweet innocence.

Just the other day, my son's heart could have shattered into a zillion tiny particles, but it didn't. We were eating lunch with his cousin, who is his age. This is my {biological} brother's daughter. He is my only brother. We are my parents' only children. Here is how that lunch conversation went:
Son: Mom, I want some more cousins. Can AJ be my cousin? [his friend at school] How come people have so many cousins and I don't?
Me: You have cousins. Your cousin is sitting right next to you.
Son: That's right. She's my cousin.
Cousin: Actually, you're only my half cousin
((((This is the part where the momma lion erupted from my inside before I could even formulate a thought))))
Me: What do you mean, he's your "half cousin"? He's your cousin. Is he half a person? [The emphasis on that last question... and the actual question, which was triggered by too many emotions, might not have needed to be said]
Cousin: He's my half cousin because he's adopted.
Me: He's your cousin. I am your dad's sister. He is my son. He is your cousin.
Cousin: Not by blood. We don't have the same blood, so is my half cousin.
((((At this point, I continue to watch my son to see what he is thinking. He seemed completely oblivious to this conversation, even though the three of us were at a small table and it was not a very busy restaurant. He was already discussing Minecraft or some other video game.))))
Me: {looking her square in the eyes} He is your cousin.

At that moment, I could not find words to express my gratitude for God's plan. He knew that Jared didn't need to "process" that conversation. My son has been on this "cousin kick" for the past two months... feeling left out at school because his good friends have siblings or "cousins" at the school. He doesn't. My roaring momma lion came out because he had been expressing that pain for a while. Even though my niece didn't realize the hurt that she caused in those words, I felt them. They stung. Everyone likes to be accepted and understood. Every adoptive mother wants their children to never feel like anything less than the incredible blessing they are! 

I thank God for my son's "deaf ear" that day. God knows that there will be other conversations in my son's future that may hurt to hear. I am so thankful for the sovereign God that we love!

 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Sovereignty-Of#sthash.9lq4GzH3.dpuf

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Sovereignty-Of#sthash.9lq4GzH3.dpuf

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Sovereignty-Of#sthash.9lq4GzH3.dpuf