God Had a Better Plan

I've been through a bunch of adoption training that teaches to never say, "I don't see color" when referring to people. I've been told that it's stupid and EVERYONE sees color, so you sound dumb and insensitive if you say something like that. 

I was fortunate to grow up in a large city and date boys of all nationalities and "color", so I didn't struggle with racism as much as someone who might come from a different background. My 10 year old Texan son, however, doesn't seem to see color. For real! It is quite comical. He asked if this was a picture of my brother! My paler-than-pale, Caucasian brother. My brother is a 43 year old "white guy", so maybe I should be more concerned with the fact that my son thinks a small boy in Africa is my brother. 

Why am I bringing this up? Well, for some reason I'm an adoptive mother of (soon to be) 5 kids. I never asked for white kids. I never signed up for them. In fact, I signed up for all races and figured that we'd probably adopt a child with a Latino background... living so close to Mexico. But, God had a different plan.

Here's the thing. I never had dreams of being pregnant and didn't want the pain. God had a better plan.

I never thought I'd have five kids. God had a better plan.

He had a plan that was specific for my life. From the moment my sons took their first breaths, they were my sons. Mine. They were not bastards or orphans or mistakes or any other words that might describe children born of irresponsible teenagers. And these 3 that we're adopting? It's weird because now, more than ever, I can't even see them as orphans. They are classified as orphans. They have a past... a major past, with lots of pain. In fact, Sunshine just told me the other day that "we've been through a lot and cannot tell you it all. It would take a long time to tell you about it." {she wrote. I translated.}

The truth is that they are orphans and we don't know what has happened in the past {nearly 13} years since Sunshine was born; but for some reason, it's sooooo hard for me to see my kids like that. They have fit perfectly into our family and I don't even acknowledge that they aren't "mine". Am I being naive? Am I in denial?

Other host moms are reading parenting books and adoption information about how to "deal" with all the things that come up, yet I can't see them as anything different from my two Texan sons. They don't even speak my language, but I don't see them as different.  There aren't any behavior issues that are different from my own kids. In fact, they behave better than my Texan boys. Don't get me wrong: they are definitely skinnier than my biological family seems to manufacture.

Sometimes I wish they didn't see the ugly sides of me as often. When I get so frustrated with my other sons that I growl, I forget my other two are watching me and that's no good. For some reason, they still want to be adopted, even with seeing all my ugly sides. 

I keep getting told that I should wait and the bottom will fall out. I don't believe that it will. These are my kids. I don't anticipate behavior more crazy than I would with my Texans. Perhaps I'm lacking in experience, judgment or wisdom. I don't know. Perhaps I might just be like my 10 year old son, and not able to see the differences... no matter how many the world may see. 

Today, I choose to think that.

For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. Romans 10:12

Head Over Heels, Down for the Count, and Beyond-the-Point-of-No-Return LOVE

 

I have a good friend who is a novelist. 

Okay, she's not really a novelist. But, after reading her email to me, I kind of think she is.

I asked her to help me condense my current adoption story for a specific opportunity.  She told me that I should start out with something really catchy like, "It was a dark and stormy night...." She said I need to grab the attention of the reader.

She grabbed my attention.

It's not every day that a friend will take your story and write it out, in her words.

She has given me free reign to use these words as my words, wherever I'd like to use them. For now, I'd like them all to be written here. 

This is my story... written by my forever friend.

       I didn't want them to come.  Not really.  But not because of what you think.  I was afraid of the inevitable.  I knew in the depths of my innermost being that if they came, I'd fall in love.  Head over heels, down for the count, and beyond-the-point-of-no-return LOVE with these orphans.  And then my heart would break.  They'd have to go back.  The children we'd poured our love, our time, our family into - would have to fly back across that immense ocean to that foreign place they called home.  Latvia. And they would be taking with them pieces of my broken heart.  You see, my husband and I had already adopted twice domestically.  We have two gorgeous boys.  And my husband had made it clear that this "summer hosting program" was good, noble even, but it was temporary.  Five weeks and that's it. We'd show these kids a good time, then send them on their way.  Knowing my husband's wishes, I purposefully chose to host two siblings who were "un-adoptable."  It wouldn't do any good to host orphans who needed a permanent home.  I knew I had no choice but to keep this "short-term."  Still, I realized that once I had set my heart - then my eyes - on these precious children...I would fall in love and not ever want to let them go.  That's why I didn't want them to come.  I didn't want to go through the pain of losing them.  

      Ah, but I underestimated my amazing Lord.  He had something else in mind for my family.  

     When we picked up our orphans from the airport in Houston, a strange thing happened.  By the time we had them in our vehicle and their little voices were filling the silence with laughter, God had done a great work in my husband's heart.  Ray had fallen in love.  

     It was a roller coaster ride of emotions.  How could we possibly adopt these unadoptable children?  Well, God knew that in advance, and He has already taken care of that little hiccup.  Two children came to visit for the summer, but their little sister was still in Latvia.  How could we afford to adopt 3 children from across the globe?  Well, God continues to provide in that area.  How can we adopt children who don't speak a lick of English?  Well, I can learn Latvian.  And they can learn English.  God has answers to all of our questions.  And His Word calms our doubts, our anxieties, and our fears.  We were not expecting this in our lives.  But God has always known.  He's been preparing us for this very moment.  We're just normal people, and God is giving us an amazing opportunity.  

     Not everyone is called to adopt 3 Latvian orphans.  But I am learning that everyone can do something to help.  And I am having to learn that it is okay to ask for it!

Pray, give, whatever.  Yada yada.

That's my favorite part. "Pray, give, whatever. Yada yada." She might not like that I included that in this blog post but it DID make me smile the most and her name is not mentioned in this post. I'm even refraining from posting her picture here.  If you know her, she doesn't take those words lightly. Praying and giving are two qualities in which any person who knows her would describe her. She is always praying and always giving. 

Most of all, I love this truth: Head over heels, down for the count, and beyond-the-point-of-no-return love.
  
Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Romans 4:18 

Christmas

Last year, my secret angel {or whatever they're called} at school gave me a Christmas CD. J loved it, so we listened to it a lot last year. He had a song on there that was his favorite. We listened to it dozens of times.

Last month, we started listening to it again. As I heard the hip hop sound of that particular TOBYMAC song, tears started running down my face. Last Christmas, I had no idea that I'd have two orphans spending this Christmas with me, much less that I'd be adopting three! Here are some lyrics:

Nine years old, but Jonnie was an old soul
Gonna spend his first Christmas in a real home

Father of the fatherless
Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas, this Christmas
(You ain’t livin’ ‘til you choose to give
Love and joy and peace to one of His)
Father let us not forget
The children who are all alone this Christmas, this Christmas

 

Religion that God our Father
Accepts as pure and faultless is this:
That we look after orphans and widows in their distress
Merry Christmas everyone

Our littlest bundle is still 6,000 miles away. We have never met her. We have Skyped once or twice, about 5 months ago. Words cannot express how badly we want to hug her and bring her to America! Since she's been in that home for 2-3 years and she's barely 4, she has probably never really experienced Christmas with a family.

As for our other two, this has been quite a joyous Christmas! Oh, how we wished they could have unwrapped the big news about the adoption! Unfortunately, we don't have travel dates yet. We are praying that we can tell them our travel dates while they are here.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress... James 1:27b

The Teacher in Portugal

Last week, we finished off our big 100 square fundraiser. Selling all our squares earns $5,050 toward our adoption expenses. We are so thankful to have sold as many squares as we did!

Here's the incredible part.

The family who won the grand prize - a $125 gift card to Dick's Sporting Goods - re-gifted it back to us. Wow! We could not have imagined that kind of generosity! Before we could even figure out what to do with that news, I stumbled across a website with English tutors for my kids. I had never considered a tutor, because... quite frankly, it would be rare to find someone fluent in both the languages, who is also a teacher. In addition, we don't have funds for tutoring, no matter how important it is that our kids learn the language we speak here.

Up until now, we have been using apps, worksheets and flash cards for their English lessons. It has worked, and they are slowly learning English words. However, I came across a little treasure.

Her name is Dina and she is an English teacher, who currently lives in Portugal. The best part is that she actually speaks my kids' native language. With only 1 million people speaking their language, you have no idea how extraordinary this is! Let me tell you... she speaks English spectacularly. She's not like the chaperones that come over with P143. I feel like I have to speak broken English with them so that they understand. Dina has speaks perfect English AND their language.  

She is a dream. She Skypes with Sunshine and even assigns homework. Sunshine really likes her too, because she's very likeable and smart and is helping pull Sunshine out of her shyness. Each very-detailed Skype lesson is $8.50. She is learning so much! We feel this is the best investment we could make with this $125 gift. Sunshine is a natural teacher, so we hope she will teach her brother and sister until we can get finances for their one-on-one tutoring.

Iceman is learning a lot by talking (he's very talkative). He also really likes English games on the Kindle.

Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession. Psalm 2:8

Fitting In

These kids are still "fitting in" swimmingly. They're such great kids that it's easy for them to find friends. We are so thankful to have such great friends in life!

Here are some great shots with friends - new and old.

Great Friends

A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17a

Worksheets for the Brain

I gave her 30 worksheets for the next few days. She wouldn't move from the table until she completed every one. Wow! 

Things like this really make this adoption seem surreal.

Don't get me wrong. I know "hard times are a-coming". I'm not naive. But, to have at least 2 of my children enjoy school and learning is a WIN for me. 

Z is still in school this week, so I sat the other 3 down with some worksheets.I gave math sheets to Sunshine and J, but not Iceman.. I mostly wanted to see how their left and right brains communicated. I gave them some wonderful "brain food" worksheets to better assess how their brains worked. Sunshine didn't need any instructions. She was kind enough to also teach Iceman what he needed to do to complete the worksheets.

Iceman impressed me. I still don't understand what exactly his "disabilities" include. I wonder why he attends a special institution for school.  Their chaperone told me that many children who need speech therapy when young, are often kept in those schools. Who knows? All I know is that he does a better job than my 10 year old on those brain worksheets!

Part of their day's work included sending a Christmas card to their younger sister. I asked Iceman to draw something. I remembered that their country puts real candles on their Christmas trees. I wonder what they think of ours?

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:16-17

They're Back

Today is Monday.

Yesterday, our host kids returned to us for the holidays. We were so fortunate to be able to re-host them. We are sad the youngest sister is not old enough to travel with them, but we have heard that this is the first Christmas our kids will have ever had, so we have no regrets. I'll write all about their homecoming in a minute.

Due to holiday work and business, I've yet to inform the blog world about our exciting phone call last Friday. Our adoption agency called with some fantastic news.

"There was a hearing and the judge ruled in favor of all three kids being adopted by their host family."  

When Cara said that, I was a little confused. Our kids technically live in a foster home, so I was thinking "house" family. Cara quickly clarified with "That's You!" Immediately, my voice was quivering as I stood inside Costco and waited to hear what she had to say.

"The attorney wants to know if you'd like to fly back with your kids in January."

"The referral is coming quick. You should expect it by the end of the month."

All of this sounded surreal. Could it really be happening this fast? The ministry only had our dossier for barely one month and they already had a court procedure, ruling in our favor? We just started our home study 4 months ago!

We won't complain. We'll just wait patiently for our referral so we can go ahead and book some flights over there in the dead of winter. I'm elated to have a winter with snow! I'll write more about that later.

Let me share more about yesterday.

I'm still not supposed to show pictures of their faces, unless they're in groups.

A few of the kids leaving their "home airport" (ours are in that pic!)

Some cinnamon ornaments I made as gifts for airport friends

The first thing we did was wait. It was fun to wait with our local friends, who are first-time hosters! (I don't think that's even a word. They are hosting 2 little girls for the first time.)

 Someone took this picture (of the back of my head) as the kids were finally coming through.

REUNITED BROTHERS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HUGS FROM A FORMER FOSTER SISTER

SEEING HER OLD FOSTER SISTER

 I feel like I could write an entire blog about this angel. She was adopted last year (from a Texan!) and she loves my kids (her former foster brother and sister SO much. 

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! Psalm 90:17

FOR SALE

Well, I'm glad you asked. We are selling a bunch of items for our upcoming adoption expenses. 

We are selling our entire 12 piece fine china set - most have never been used and have price tags - Noritake Stoneleigh. Someone also donated a huge box of shaving mugs. Don't know what they are? I just posted them in a different blog entry, so you can see. 

Ok - here are some other items. Let me know if you'd like anything! 

Golf Balls. My boys have been collecting golf balls for months. It is their special way to help raise money for our adoption. We have a ton of golf balls. You tell me a brand and type, and I'll let you know if we have them. We've also been selling little boxes for Christmas.

A GIGANTIC Nativity Set. An incredibly generous couple makes beautiful hand-painted Christmas nativity set for yards. They sell them on Craigslist for $350. Our listing has been out there for a couple weeks, and we haven't gotten any bites. All pieces are made from cabinet grade birch plywood for a smooth finish. All wood is sealed and then painted with Behr Exterior Paint with Primer and acrylic paints then resealed with a clear polyurethane coating to give many years of outdoor use. Each set folds flat for off-season storage. All screws and stakes are supplied to display it securely in your yard. It is LARGE.
Joseph is 5'9" tall.

Compelled Jewelry Fundraiser.Here are the necklaces we still have available. You can find out more about this fundraiser in my prior blog post - http://thebackgroundnoise.blogspot.com/2015/11/custom-gifts-of-truth.html

We have a ton of jewelry. I take a bag with me wherever I go, hoping to find someone who likes jewelry. There are too many to post pictures of all. Let me know if you'd like to see any items. Most are Chico's brand.

Other items you might like.

Rod iron wall hanging, patina style. Lion's head. Solid and sturdy. 29" x 24"

Willow Tree, sisters by heart

Excellent condition Vera Bradley purse and glasses case.

Perfect condition, camel painting in beautiful frame. 19"x14 1/2".

Never been used. Great holiday gift! 16 inches tall.

New, never been used Lenox vase. 9" tall. It's beautiful.

Never been used Snowman Decor. 

Brand New, Packaged Longaberger Items.

Handmade Christmas Ornaments.

      

Crosses - solid and sturdy

 

Paintings by Maria.

I've had some great World Market salad plates and a bowl for sale for about a month... which probably means that I come down from my $15 price.

There are many, many more things around this house that we're selling. It's a ton of work to drag them out to take pictures and post, and I'm currently working on a grant application. Y'all just all need to come over and tell us what you'd like. As long as it's not breathing, I might let you make an offer on something!

Oh - and don't forget our 100 Square Fundraiser. Pick a white square and you're in the running for some FANTASTIC prizes! Winners will be drawn on December 15th.

Thanks for looking. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for caring. Thanks for helping us change eternity for these three beautiful children!


And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:12