Can an Allergy to Milk Damage Your Brain?

When we weren't quite certain what was "wrong" with Jared a couple years ago, I changed his diet. He was on all organic, natural foods and vitamins/supplements. There were occasional signs of improvement, but nothing seemed to stick. He has been on various medications most of his life, due to his season allergies. I wish there was some sort of "miracle vitamin" or food that I've been missing. I wish there was some answer to help him not get sick so often (mostly head/congestion).  I recently learned that food allergies can affect the brain by hindering it from performing or functioning optimally. I guess I figured that food allergies would present in a way that I could physically see. I never realized that if my child was allergic to dairy, wheat, corn or sugar, it could merely manifest as non-functioning neurology!

It's obvious that nutrition plays a huge part in brain function. Jared has been on liquid Omega 3 and DHA since his first birthday. He loves fruits and vegetables. He takes vitamins and nutrients. But, even with all this home schooling and cognitive therapy, he doesn't seem to be taking leaps and bounds forward. Maybe I've got to revamp his entire diet again? How do I tell him that his favorite snack, carrots and Ranch dressing can't be consumed anymore?

There are sooooo many "best brain foods" articles on the Internet. It's ridiculous. You'd think there would be some commonalities among them. Blueberries seem to be on most of the lists. What else? Some have eggs. Some have green tea, lemons and nuts. I've got a lot more research to do, and Jared has a lot more blueberries to eat! 

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NIV)

It's Going to Take a Miracle

The two-a-days had been going well, until this morning. Because my youngest son swallowed a penny, I've been on "penny watch" since last night. I have no idea where the penny is, or if it's stuck in his throat or esophagus. Therefore, I didn't want to leave him alone this morning to home school Jared. Speaking of Jared, he's not feeling well either. His nose has been stuffy and he's been pretty lethargic. And his therapy with Dr. C? Ugh. You'd think he'd be getting better, but she was pretty disappointed with his progress today.

Dr. C. said that Jared cannot encode. I've heard that word a lot. In essence, she said he can't memorize anything. She also said he doesn't know what anything means. Of course, I think she was making a blanket statement. I think, because he wasn't feeling well, he didn't do well today. I believe he knows what "up" means. She said he didn't today. She said he only wants to remember what he wants to remember, and that's a very small bit of information. During the car ride home, I asked him his directions and he answered correctly. Obviously, he didn't do as well with Dr. C., and that left her very frustrated.

Dr. C. said that his frontal lobe isn't working. He can't retain any information he's learned. Isn't that a nice, reassuring thing to hear? {That's sarcasm.} I completed eight phonics lessons yesterday with him. That's a record. He did great! He also swam for nearly 4 hours yesterday. We had a wonderful, fun, learning-filled day. He didn't sleep well, due to a stuffy nose, and he woke up in a foggy state. He has been tired all day. I guess it makes sense that he didn't do well with Dr. C. However, the past few meetings with her make it seem like Kindergarten might be slipping away from us. {dagger in heart}

My friend texted me yesterday and told me she was praying for a miracle. I appreciate that. I could say, "We need prayers for his brain" or "We need prayers because he cannot encode" or "He needs prayers because he can't think in sequence", but the truth is, we need a miracle. It's going to take a miracle. And if you don't believe me, Dr. C. probably would have said the same thing today.

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. Job 9:10 (NIV)

Two-a-Days

I went to Jared's school today to pick up his supplies and P.E. uniform. It's wild to think that school will start in less than a month. I know he will be very excited to start school and see his friends again. We're hoping to accomplish a great deal more with his phonics program before school starts. Today he actually surprised me by writing out his entire name. He's never done that before (or, just not in front of me?). My heart leaps when he does something "scholarly" and unexpected. I love it!

Tomorrow, we are starting two-a-days. I don't know how you spell that, but it means the same as it meant in high school athletics (at least when I was in high school). The few weeks before school started, athletes would kick it into gear and work until they vomited. I lived in Judson high school district (they won 6 state football championships), and my next door neighbors both played football for the school. I'd remember every August, those boys would be throwing up multiple times daily, with their two-a-days. But, their coach was serious about football... and it showed!

So, tomorrow we will start early in the morning with some phonics before swim time and then hit the books again in the afternoon. Jared does have therapy with Dr. C. tomorrow, so technically, some days may be three-a-days. As long as I keep it fun and interesting, it'll be okay. I'm confident that he will make great strides the next four weeks. Go, Jared!

Victory comes from the Lord; may he bless his people. Psalm 3:8 (GNT)

2 in the family?

Twice this week my 3 year old said "getfor". He actually used it in the sentence, "What did we getfor?" The first time he said it, I kept asking him what he meant. When I realized he MEANT "forget", I quietly had a freakout session. Is there something in my water? Are there berries in my backyard that the boys are eating that are giving them neurological mishaps that lead to dyslexia? Why in the world would he be saying that?

I told Dr. C. about it the other day and she kind of chuckled, saying, "Oh no, you've got another one!" Ouch. Maybe I sounded too laid back about it, so she felt it was laugh-worthy. I'm far from laughing. As I mentioned, it's freakout-worthy, to me. Of course, my internal freakouts outwardly show as, "Oh, Zane, you mean 'forget'. Forget. Say it, please. Forget. You mean, 'what did we forget?' There's no such word as getfor." (with all smiles while my head is already figuring out which car we'd have to sell if we actually had 2 children in cognitive therapy!)

I don't really remember how I came across this site - http://www.auditory-rx.com/our-family-and-apd/, but there is a testimonial from a woman with multiple sons who have APD. It was sad and scary reading about it. I wonder if part of what Zane does is just 'regular 3 year old' or if he has a disability. He raises his voice a lot... way more than Jared ever did. Is it because of background noise? Is his hearing okay? Is it because he's a strong willed toddler who wants his way? I know I sound paranoid, but I'm sure I'm not the only mother that has ever thought this way. Ugh.

The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11 (NIV)

"Our Business is to Hope in God"

I had never thought of the letter "n". What's there to think about? However, when a word starts with "N", Jared becomes dyslexic in an instant. Even after sounding out the word, he throws a vowel in front of it. I didn't get it. Dr. C. told me to really think about that letter. It sounds like you're saying "en", like there IS a vowel in front of it. Jared hears the vowel there. He sounds it out as part of the word. I'm learning some crazy things about the human brain!

 When talking with Dr. C. the other day, I told her that Jared just couldn't memorize certain words to read (i.e. the, this, of, they, etc.) He can sound out words phonetically, and some words just don't work like that. I told her that he cannot do it. I said it with certainty. I said it with absolutely no hope that he will ever be able to get the part of his brain to make it happen. That's how I've been thinking lately about this situation. My level of hope has gone down. With each day, I'm remembered that school starts in just a few weeks. With each day, my hope seems to dwindle. Of course,  Jared doesn't know this. I'm still so positive and reassuring, with every home school or brain lesson.

This morning, God reminded me of some things.
"When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God." - Charles Allen

Last Sunday we sang the song "Overcome". I have always loved that song. I like the words. I like the melody. I like the story behind it. It sprung from New Life Church in Colorado Springs. Since I had spent so many Sundays there, as well as attending conferences there, their particular story means something to me.  When you thought the church couldn't go through anything worse than the troubles of their senior pastor, a young man went in there on a Sunday morning and started shooting and killing people. I am an alumnus of the small Colorado missions school the shooter attended. I remember where I was when I heard the news. I didn't know how that church was going to recover. Yet, the worship leader wrote a song and they sang it just days later. They recorded it live and I merely have to go to Youtube to see how a huge group of people overcame, as an awesome Savior overcame. Jon Egan said, "It was a group of people that decided they were not going to be defeated."

And, this morning I was led to start my day with this quote. George Mueller wrote, "Oh remember this: There is never a time when we may not hope in God. Whatever our necessities, however great our difficulties, and though to all appearance help is impossible, yet our business is to hope in God, and it will be found that it is not in vain." I'm so thankful to be reminded of these things this week. I'm starting out this day in hope!

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Promoting APD Awareness

As a parent, I can't help but research kids with APD and their challenges and struggles. I have only found a few positive stories of children with APD succeeding. I know more are out there, I just haven't found them yet. But, I will! I'm determined. If not, hopefully Jared will be that story someday!

I found this video posted to YouTube. It caught my eye because there's a picture of a lady hitting her head like Jared often does when he feels his brain "isn't working". As you can tell, the author doesn't know how APD occurs (no one does), but actually even suggested whiplash. I had never heard that one before.  It's a quick video and you don't find out much about the author... until you dig deeper. She's a sweet, awkward, deep teen who wants people to be aware of APD. I appreciate that!  She even included one of her APD worksheets in the video (it was quick, but I definitely know what it was!) 

With every video from kids like her, I always wonder how involved their parents are with their disorder. As a parent of a child with APD, I also hurt for them so deeply. I remember feeling so misunderstood at times throughout high school. I couldn't imagine having a non-curable disability!

I remember the days gone by; I think about all that you have done, I bring to mind all your deeds. I lift up my hands to you in prayer; like dry ground my soul is thirsty for you. Psalm 143:5-6 (GNT)

Preparing for the Big League

Day 3 of VBS was a success... as was Day 2 and Day 1. I had his little friend report back to me to find out how he was doing. It helped knowing I had some "inside eyes". He seems to be enjoying it.

We had to cancel Dr. C. yesterday, because of VBS, so he'll be going to her tomorrow and Friday this week. It worked out well, because Jared's future kindergarten teacher and one of the "APD Intervention Program" facilitators at his school met with Dr. C. during his regular appointment time. I don't really know the two ladies. My mom does and she said that they had a wonderful time and that they learned the ins and outs of Jared's brain and believe they can help him in the fall. It was good news, considering I spent part of the afternoon yesterday looking into the Winston school, a school in our city for children with learning disabilities and trying to figure out what miracles would need to take place for him to attend that school.

It sounds like Jared's school is really diving into APD research. What a blessing! I still have tons of work to do this summer, however, if I'm going to get him ready to enter "the big league". Each day it's either one step forward or two steps back. I was telling a friend today that sometimes it seems like he has mini-strokes. How can you know something so well two days in a row and then it vanish on the third day and there is no sign of remembering? You'd think it would come back by the fourth day, but it doesn't. Weird.

Here he is working on one of his easier figureground letters sheets:

Sovereign Lord, you made the earth and the sky by your great power and might; nothing is too difficult for you. Jeremiah 32:17 (GNT)

As the Stomach Churns

My friend's daughter planned to attend a local Vacation Bible School (VBS) and wanted Jared to go with her. In the past, I would not have even hesitated with the invitation. He's been in VBS every summer. Now that I know he has APD, things are different.

My stomach hasn't stopped churning since I dropped him off 2 hours ago. I don't necessarily know what my fears are. This is a new church and we have never been to it before. When I registered him, I included under his "medical issues" that he had APD. I wrote a little explanation on it. I figured that most people wouldn't even realize he had it, but he may need certain things repeated. The form stated to list your child's friend, so they can be together. We included that information.  When I arrived this morning, they had Jared in another group. Apparently there was a mix up. Perhaps his "APD" may have confused someone and they accidentally put him in the 3-4 year old group. Instead of reading too much into it, I asked his friend's group leader and she said that he should be in his friend's group. They were even confused with his name tag and where he should be. When I left him there, he was sitting in the group with his friend, listening attentively... almost quietly overwhelmed by the hundreds of other children sitting around him.

Now that I know my child is technically "disabled", my whole outlook on everything has changed. Were there too many children there? Will he be able to understand what's going on? Will he make any friends? What have I done? Why did I leave him there, in a room with hundreds of children that he's never seen before in his life?

For the first 5 years of his life, he was watched or taught by lots of strangers. I was a single parent most of that time, so I needed all the help I could get. If any kids ignored him or were ugly to him, I just told him to stop annoying them or go play with someone else (the "suck it up" or "let it go" mentality). This past year, however, I'm petrified to hand him over to anyone who doesn't know the ins and outs of his disability. I'm worried people will be impatient and mean with him. I've NEVER been that kind of mom, so this is all new to me. How do I balance wanting to protect him and letting him live a fulfilling life, despite his disability? I've seen the videos of older kids who have APD and they aren't good. Kids are cruel and these APD children seem dark and isolated. I couldn't imagine my happy, healthy child being that depressed because his brain doesn't work like most children. On the other hand, I also have heard you're never supposed to treat your child like he has a disability.

How do I get my heart to stop aching and my stomach to stop churning?

You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

Super Duper

I'm not going to take another blog entry to state how things are NOT going well with Jared's reading or homeschooling. I can say, however, that he doesn't seem capable of retaining most of what he learns. Dr. C. says he needs a "whole body approach", so we use his whole body when he learns. I don't know how that's going to gel into his class in the fall, but all I can do is try to do it and pray for my son.

On to other things.... I found a new product that I hope can help my child. There was this video on YouTube that looked interesting. To be honest, when I watched it, I actually chuckled a little at the salesmanship. But then I saw what it could do. I was excited and ordered one of these nifty little books by Super Duper Inc. After telling Dr. C. about it, she asked me to order her one too. And my parents? Well, my dad ordered one, which really made me happy. If I had the "whole village" behind me, I would definitely not feel as stressed. This way, my parents can work with him whenever they're hanging out with him.

It's a quick take along book to help Jared with his listening and comprehension skills. I'll be able to take this cool little laminated book with me everywhere we go. If we ever have time to kill, I can work with Jared on listening discrimination, memory, sound manipulation, etc.

If you know anyone who suffers from auditory processing disorder, this would be a great gift!

To him who by means of his power working in us is able to do so much more than we can ever ask for, or even think of: to God be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 (GNT) 

Hopel(a)ssn(e)ss

Today was one of those days that felt hopeless. In fact, if you can't hear the {shatter} of my heart for my child right now, then I'm clearly being too positive with this post.

You know how I said that teaching my dyslexic child to read was one of the hardest things I've ever done? I need to broaden that statement to say, "Teaching my APD child to read is one of the hardest things I've ever done." We added a new vowel to the mix and he can't seem to hear the difference between "e" and "a". No matter what I do, he can't tell the difference. If you ask him if "red" has an "a" or "e" sound, he'll just sound it out to the opposite one. For example, he'll say, "red - rrrr eh aaaah d. ah. it's an a".  I don't speak with an accent. He'll even change "egg" to start with an "a", even though he says "eh eh egg" constantly.

I know I wrote a blog post about this in February, but I truly thought he was taking great strides with his reading. This past week, he had been doing well. He still has his p,q,d,b issues, but he was even getting better with those. This vowel confusion, as well as the fact that he can't memorize his common words like "and" and "the" makes it seem like he'll never learn to read books. Today, he kept hitting his brain and saying it's not working. He said his brain doesn't like him and it won't do what he wants it to do. How does he even know to say those things?

I have been patient with him with homeschooling. I don't feel I need prayers for patience... it's more than that. I need prayer for my hopelessness. I feel crushed. I feel defeated. I feel like the idea of my child feeling somewhat "normal" is beyond reality. After we finished school work today, I prayed and cried. If he can't learn this before school starts next month, I don't know what we'll do.

The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope. Psalm 34:18 (GNT)

Fishing & Focus

My son likes to fish

and fish

and fish

and fish some more.

I believe it must be his favorite thing to do.  He definitely loves to catch fish.

Jared is serious about fishing. He will stand out there, FOR HOURS, just to catch a fish. He doesn't need anyone around him. He doesn't wiggle. He doesn't sing. He just stands there and concentrates. The other day, Ray and I were talking about how people have suggested he has ADHD. Those of us who know him well know how focused he is in so many areas of life. If you watch him fish, you see him attentive, with no distractibility, hyperactivity or impulsive behaviors. He concentrates. He has mental focus. I can't believe he doesn't find it boring. We don't even stand out there with him. We hear him when he catches one, however. He let's us know!

He will cast, over and over, and keep smiling. I only wish he could be more like this in other areas of his life! Oh, how much easier our lives would be if he had that drive and focus in his school work!

Would any of you who are fathers give your son a stone when he asks for bread? Or would you give him a snake when he asks for a fish? As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11 (GNT)

P,Q,B,D

p, q, b, d... Oh, how I take those four letters for granted! Jared's been doing well with his phonics and reading, but still has issues with those 4 letters. He can look at the word "bad" and then write it as "bab". I'll then have him write his name, with his "d" to end it and then attempt the word "bad" again. And, again he'll write "bab".

Dr. C. gave me these really cool worksheets to help with his dyslexia/dysgraphia. They have a bunch of random letters in rows and he's supposed to match them with the given letter. I wish I could say Jared does well with these worksheets. He actually does okay with b and d. He definitely does not do well with q and p. The good news is that Dr. C. is using his cognitive therapy time to work on them this week. He came home with some glittered p and q flashcards today. She can see so far beyond what I can. The motor skill/brain connection just boggles my mind. He must use his right hand to sound out his words. If he points with his left, I have to correct him to use his right. Isn't that interesting? It makes me wonder how many mistakes I've made with him... using his "wrong" hand and making things more difficult for him to understand.

I get confused just thinking about all these "rules" and things we need to do to help my child. I mean, there's no way to deny the fact that he has a disability. Sometimes, however, he seems so "normal" that I wouldn't even think about stopping him - especially if he's reading really well - and forcing him to put his hand in a certain position. There are so many things to remember. I have to keep reminding myself that I can do this (with the Lord's help!), it's just going to take some time to get all the rules memorized.

“A day is coming when people will sing, Give thanks to the Lord! Call for him to help you! Tell all the nations what he has done! Tell them how great he is!” Isaiah 12:4 (GNT)