Woe Is He

"Have you had any 'woe is me' days?" a friend asked me the other day, when we were discussing APD. No. Definitely not. How can you have a "woe is me" day when it's not about me? It's about him. Yes, we're all in this together, but if I am thinking of woes, it's definitely those woes of my precious child.

My senses are heightened. I hear people say, "what did you say?" or ask him to repeat himself. I hear individuals repeat what they say to him over and over again. I hear voices raised. I grit my teeth when people lose patience with him. Have I ever lost patience? Absolutely. However, I'm astounded by this abundance of patience that has taken over me now that I know more about this disability. This is my son's battle and I want to do everything I can to help him. Woe is he.

Years ago I gave a talk at a church about self-centeredness. I shared about the time in my life when I was more self-centered than ever. It was the time when Ray and I were trying to get pregnant. I would take my body temperature every day. I would even know the size of my ovaries... my inmost being... each month. Every feeling, thought or oddity would be journaled. I was so focused on my body, inside and out... whatever I could do to help the fertility specialists figure out what was wrong. When I had to wait those few days to see if I would be pregnant during a particular month, the self-absorption was insurmountable. Throughout that time, I had plenty of "woe is me" days.

Today, any stray thought leads to him... or at least a prayer for strength for him. I am in the midst of my "woe is he" days. But, I know that this, too, will pass and I cannot wait to see what this life holds for my miracle baby.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)