Stealing my Orphan Joy

Teachers.

I never desired to be a school teacher. My close friends know how I feel about school. I never liked it. When I graduated from college at 21, I was trying to get out of there so fast that I never even went to my college graduation. Nearly every one of my friends was continuing on for a Masters Degree. "See ya!" was the only thought in my head.  School wasn't difficult, but I just would rather be out in the world, doing things. Adventure. Don't stick me in a classroom.

When Jared's difficult diagnosis led me to home school, it was a struggle. When we joined a very "school like" co-op, it was a struggle. When I saw my roster of sixteen 3rd grade students at the beginning of the year, I was ready to run. If it wasn't for my son, I might have.

As the school year is coming to an end, all I can think of is "See ya"! I am struggling to have any excitement about finishing strong. I'm keeping these feelings away from my son, as we still have many, many more weeks to finish off his math curriculum for the year. I realized, this morning, that I'm oozing with that end-of-school-exhaustion. It is consuming me. And, to be honest, I'm allowing it to steal my orphan joy.

When I was praying and working on my weekly Bible study assignment this morning, it was very clear that the physical and mental fatigue of school was clouding so much. I AM excited about these kids coming here. I AM excited for my entire family to share love with these kids, like they may have never known. I AM excited to have this adventure. 

The book study has this great quote that resonated in me this morning: "Sometimes when we choose to praise, we feel better. Our spirits lift. Heaviness fades. The spring returns to our step."

Today this teacher is choosing praise. 

Your words were found, and I consumed them. Your words were joy and my heart's delight, because I bear your name, Lord God of the Heavenly Armies. Jeremiah 15:16