Swimming Bears

Sunday we tried out the water.
They were hooked.

That was how I convinced Iceman to not complain about church. He kept whining, "No, No, No", when he heard he was going to church. When I told him he had to go or else we couldn't swim, he was okay.

I find I have to negotiate often with him. He wants his way, all the time, but I know the word for "house" and "swim". I give him the choice and he always obeys. 

Zane said Iceman "REALLY liked" the kids group at church. I believe it. 

These kids have changed so much in the past few days. We've had no issues with jet lag. Yesterday, Iceman had to go to the bathroom 3 times at Schlitterbahn. We're praying that the food we're trying to stick to his bones doesn't continue to pass on through!

Next to "Mami", Iceman's favorite word might be the word for bicycle. Can't get him to stop asking to ride! It's hot out there and one of us has to supervise.

Yesterday, as I woke up... EXHAUSTED... I put on 25 minutes of cartoons while I prepared their breakfast. It worked! And I didn't think they had any interest in TV! J has been so exhausted and continues to want them to sit and watch TV with him. They generally don't.

I have so many great pictures of their faces. It's a shame I can't post. You can text me and I'll send you some.

If they had a choice, they'd swim everyday. And, let me tell you... you have have probably never seen swimming like these kids. Picture a bear crawl, in the water. They flop around, very awkwardly. They make big splashes for such tiny creatures. They do look silly. A lifeguard was even making fun of Sunshine once. That didn't make me happy.

Ray and I have been trying to help them straighten their limbs.

I was talking with Shelia today and her host daughter, from the same town as mine, swims the same way. They flail around in the water, like they might drown. They're actually okay, though. Iceman still needs a life jacket for Schlitterbahn, but Sunshine is perfectly fine... she just looks a 
strange.

Iceman prefers to do the strange bear/drowning swim and then lay there, floating in a ball. I've seen a lifeguard or two look at him, for a long time. 

All in all, Schlitterbahn elevated my stress levels. There were so many people there. The host kids are so little. They were AWESOME at staying with us at all times... even though Iceman continued to want to do his own thing. Sunshine continues to be quiet, smile and just go along with anything we're doing. I don't know what she's thinking about much. She seems to like all the clothes she has... except for some board shorts I bought her. They were too big and her face said, "Are you crazy, making me try these on?"

Iceman makes us laugh... continually. He mimics all we say... to learn English. He's just soaking it all in. Things could be stress filled one minute, but he will bring joy when he opens his mouth! {except when he just says, "Mami. Mami. Mami" constantly, while trying to get me to understand his language. His joyous, curious character covers that annoyance, though.}

For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy. Psalm 92:4

Hugs Like a Python

Mami

Mami

Mami

I think that's his favorite word in the world.

 

These kids have started saying "I love you, Mami" and "I love you, Daddy"

And their hugs? They don't stop. They are as tight as a python. They refuse to let go.

And he says, "I want more!" in his language, when he hugs me.

Hosting was a wonderful decision.

Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Psalm 82:3

The First 48

The first 48 hours have flown by. 

Wait. I guess it hasn't even been 48 hours. 

Even though it seems like it's been a week, it's only been about 38 hours or so since we met our Eastern European host children.

They say that time flies when you're having fun. I know that. Yet, we are having fun... but I think it might slow down when you are parenting kids who have no idea what you are saying and there doesn't seem to be any way to communicate.

We arrived at the Houston airport on Friday. Thinking that we gave ourselves enough time to get there, we thought we'd pick up lunch along the way. None of us ate breakfast, because we were all working hard at picking up the house and making sure it was good enough for their tour later that day. We each drank a breakfast drink and jumped in the car.

We arrived at the airport at 12:30pm. Our group meet time was 12:45pm. The kids' plane landed at 1:45pm. The first person I met was a gal named Shelia. First impression: her mile-a-minute words said the same words that were in my head. The crazy part: she lives 10 miles from our house!! For some reason, she never joined the Facebook page so I had no idea there was someone hosting nearby! The awesomeness: she and her husband seem so fun and wonderful. Her girls weren't very talkative. As you could imagine, Jared spoke enough for every child there. Ha. His anticipation was so intense that he kept saying (while gritting his teeth), "I just can't hold it!"

our little translator friend

We kept getting updates that they landed... that they are in customs... that they went through customs. We got "ready" and stood by with signs. Minutes turned to hours. We didn't know what was going on. There was limited communication, as we families stood there with balloons and signs... and smiles, hiding impatience. I actually liked that extra time... probably more than everyone around me. I got to know Shelia (mentioned above) better. I also was able to chat with a Seguin family a little. They are the two families near us. Most importantly? I met Eve.

Eve was at the airport with the sole purpose of greeting orphans and translating, if needed. Her mom hosted her in 2013 and adopted her last September. She now lives in Houston. Her English is incredible. When someone told me that there was a translator, I was very happy as we STILL had no idea how to pronounce our orphan's name! I grabbed her and rushed her to our sign to see our host kids' pictures and names. She squealed! She had lived in the same foster home that they did! She immediately told her mom that she was glad she came. (Mom said that she practically had to drag Eve to the airport.)

J's impatience and anticipation

Wow! My host kids would not only be greeted by us, they'd see a long lost friend at the Houston airport? Perfect!

Eventually my phone rang. It was customs. The agent started asking me questions like, "Are you expecting any guests to fly in today?" I quickly answered all the questions, with body language so giddy that I was even grabbing and poking my finger at 2 men standing nearby. To my defense, they were the closest ones and we had been waiting for SO long for answers. I started pointing to my phone and, while answering the customs questions, gesturing to the other parents to get their phones out. The agent told me he wanted to talk to all the parents responsible for these children. I gave my phone to Shelia. She's hosting a 7 year old girl. The agent asked her more detailed questions that mine. He asked her how she planned to take care of emotional anguish when they didn't speak the same language. He asked her how she would communicate and know if this young lady had a need. This agent didn't seem to want to surrender any of these children to us! They were so close to us, yet so far away.

When all the families had talked to him (an agent even came out to us), we got back in our places for the big reveal. We waited. And waited some more. Jared was in pain with anticipation. I got to know Shelia even better (this lady is cool! We even made plans for this week.)

They walked out.

First impression of Sunshine: ruby red lips (with no lipstick on). shy (covering her face, smiling). skinny.

First impression of Iceman: skinny. skinny. skinny. little. His shorts looked 3 sizes too big.

They wanted to come to us... as badly as we wanted to see them. We didn't know what to do, though. We were supposed to wait for the chaperone to introduce us, and there were multiple families ahead of us. Eventually they came over. Our host kids grabbed Eve and hugged tightly. Ray said he had tears in his eyes. I wasn't paying attention to him.  My eyes and heart were on these tiny kids.

We were supposed to ask the chaperone if she had anything to tell us. She said that Sunshine was fine but Iceman vomited, repeatedly, the entire flight. I also smelled Iceman from feet away - urine. Oh, and that he talked a lot. That's it. It's okay, though, because she told Shelia that her host daughter was mortified of roller coasters and trampolines, and Shelia has a trampoline in her backyard.

We waited in line for our family picture. It was mandatory so the agency knew which family had our kids. I HATE our family picture. I don't hate it for the narcissistic ways most people might not like a photo. I had my arm around Sunshine, thinking Iceman was right next to her. In our family photo, Iceman is about a foot away from all of us. We are smiling. He isn't. I don't know if it's because he knew he smelled like he did or because he was scared, but it tells a story that I do NOT want to tell. I want a do-over. It's too late.

We walked to the car and found out that they know no English... for real. They had not used a seat belt before. That was interesting. I had Iceman in a booster seat, because he was tiny. That took a second for him to understand. My family hadn't eaten all day. We only had those smoothies/breakfast shakes. It was now 5:15pm... in Houston workday traffic. The host kids' plane had taken off more than 19 hours prior to the Houston traffic. I wished we could have flown home in seconds. Instead, we tried to find food. My boys were so hungry! And, of course I wanted to fatten up my host children! We found a subway and all went in to go to the bathroom. Sunshine didn't want to. The Subway was out of 1/2 of the menu items so we left. (This bothered me, as I thought that their first impression of us was passing up on food!)

We eventually made it to a Chick Fil A drive thru in Katy. The host kids were nearly asleep in the back, as the boys and we scarfed down our food.

Just before our highway exit, Jared said he had to go to the bathroom and couldn't hold it. We stopped at a gas station. Sunshine had to go, too. I was so thankful that she told us. She seems to hold a lot inside and we can't really tell what she's thinking.

Our roundtrip was exactly 12 hours, to the minute.

Translating the hygiene stuff would be tough, so Ray took Iceman and I helped Sunshine. They are too old to actually help "wash", so we had to explain how everything worked. It was HARD. Sunshine's hair is down to her waist, so I was desperate to figure out the lice situation. She showered like I do when I'm on the mission field. We could hear the water turn on and off, repeatedly. I wished I could go in there to help her, but wanted to respect her. She's 12 years old. I would never want a strange person in there with me!

Thankfully, her wet hair was extremely tangled. I was able to brush it for her and find these little critters that I was told so much about. Didn't see anything in her hair.  I french braided it for her and she quickly found a great friend in our cat, Smudge. Iceman wasn't as easy. He wanted a bath, so Ray helped him. We had to figure out his clothing situation pretty quickly, as he was smaller that our 7 year old and the clothes we had for him were 8/10 sizes. We grabbed some of Zane's pajamas. I knew I'd have to run to Walmart in the morning for some smaller clothes/shoes for both of them.

After Iceman was in his pajamas, he put back on his shoes. They wear house shoes in Eastern Europe and I COMPLETELY FORGOT. The problem: His shoes had vomit on them. I grabbed some of Z's and told Z to put on some and show Iceman to put on the Addidas flip flops we had. The boys played Legos while Sunshine played with Smudge. 

Around 10:50pm, we thought we needed to finally put them all to bed. We prayed together... although Iceman didn't understand what we were doing and continued to talk a lot. Sidenote: I think his name might be translated to "Jared" in English because they are so similar!

We put them to bed... without drinking or eating anything... because they refused. I wished they would have just eaten or drank something!

It took Ray and me a little while to unwind that evening. Words can't express what the feelings were. My thoughts were, "What are we doing?" and "How are we going to get through this, without communication?" 

Yesterday morning, the boys were up by  6am. I'll blame my youngest for that. I had them quietly come downstairs so Sunshine could sleep. The boys played and talked to each other... a lot... in completely different languages. Iceman ate 4 hard boiled eggs, some yogurt and some of the veggie tray I had out for them. After he ate all that, I weighed him. 51 pounds. 10 years old.

I wanted to find out what kind of underwear her preferred to make sure we had enough in his size. I asked Ray to check his dirty plane clothes. They weren't there. This sweet boy put back on his pee soaked underwear under his pajamas. When I eventually washed their plane clothes, his undies had poo and pee in them. Poor guy. I also saw that her shirt had a bedazzled playboy bunny on it. (my immediate thought went to how something so innocent... like just wearing a shirt they gave her... could mean so much more, after orphan life.)

Sunshine slept until 9am. She wouldn't eat. She did drink some water, thankfully. She weighed in at 66 pounds. 12 years old.

We hung out at the house. Iceman tested boundaries, in a sweet, cute way. He repeats what we say and I love it. However, if we say "no", he'll immediately say "yes", playfully. I am being stern, because I can imagine where this is heading... yet, he seems to love me even more! 

I have mastered quite a few words in their language. My mom dropped by yesterday and gave me a warning that we should be teaching THEM English, and not the other way around. It's hard. Thankfully, I now know "I want". That's a must. Oh, and the most comment word they use sounds like a curse word in our language. My boys keep looking at me when it is said.

We decided to take them to a car show nearby. We all got dressed. (by the way, the host kids did not want to take off their pajama shirts yesterday, until I had to {kind of} force them before the car show.) 

They lasted about 7 minutes because of the heat. Another word I understand very well is the word for "house" or "home". Iceman was asking to go home immediately. I think it was because he had found some great water guns right before we left. It's also very hot here... and bright. They kept covering their eyes out there. We came home. It was possibly a 10 minute round trip.

They immediately got their guns and went outside to play. Iceman didn't put on his swimsuit, but Sunshine did. Thankfully, it fit! (at least, the length)

My mom came by with some girl socks, since I had forgotten to buy any. She also brought a hat for Sunshine, since she seemed really bothered by the bright Texas sun at that car show.

We talked to the chaperone. I told her that Sunshine wasn't eating and I also wanted her to ask the host kids about their swimming confidence. The chaperone said they both really liked it here and are having a good time.

I decided to start cooking dinner at 4, because I was determined to get Sunshine to eat. I looked up an authentic German potato recipe. We all ate together as a family. Thankfully, Sunshine ate 2 whole hotdogs and fruit!

Then, it was puzzle time. I think Sunshine might be the "Rainman of Puzzles". It was exhilerating (not using that lightly) to watch her! I've never seen someone do a puzzle like that!

Iceman got bored with the puzzle and wanted to ride the skateboard or have a water fight. He'd probably be labeled in the US with ADHD. 

It was a nice night, hanging out upstairs. Iceman didn't want to go on time, but all he needs is a gentle verbal nudge or eye to do what he needs to do. Showers went well, although Iceman likes to run around naked.

Everyone was in bed by 8pm. Iceman and Sunshine give HUGE hugs at bedtime. Iceman won't even let go. In his language he says, "I want more!" over and over again. {break my heart}

They were up at 7am and ate a hearty breakfast with eggs, potatoes and yogurt. They are all eating and drinking well now. Thank the Lord!

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Outside

Just some quick (legal - not showing entire faces, names or country) photos...

Yesterday, we met a wonderful girl who has been adopted by a lady in Houston. She saw my welcome poster and squealed. She had lived in the same foster home with Sunshine and Iceman. My first question was, "Do they speak English?" Her answer, "They are very active!" Ha!

(Yes, I bet Iceman would probably jump from the roof, if I'd let him!)

Bones

I could write about our experience at the airport yesterday... and I will.

I could write about how scared they looked, or how his clothing was covered in vomit and urine... but I'd rather not.

I will be definitely writing about my favorite thing, thus far - Iceman's continual talking and smiling. Could there be a child, so similar to mine, living across a large ocean? Iceman just talks and talks to us, smiling. We have no idea what he's saying. The translating isn't working.

However, I'll be writing more about that goodness later.

I could write about how I brushed through Sunshine's very long, wet hair, searching for lice... and yet, having no idea exactly what I was trying to find. It looked very normal to me, but friends are scaring me that there's some kind of 7 day window. But, this isn't the time to write about that either.

They smile. They laugh. They are precious.

And, they are bones.

You can see their tail bones sticking out. Iceman turned 10 yesterday, but he's smaller than my 7 year old... who hasn't been called anything but "lean".

 

His chaperone told me he vomited on the plane, repeatedly, and was dehydrated. He wouldn't eat or drink yesterday, though. And we tried to get something in him! My kids told me he eventually drank all his water by this morning. He doesn't want to eat, though. I was told this is "normal". It's very hard to see this, though. I want to "plump him up, American style!" {But, not too much, you know... just enough!}

And Sunshine? Bones. We have 10/12 size clothing for this 12 year old, extremely nice child, but is she size 7/8?

Thankfully, she's still sleeping. Only Jared's "long lost brother" is as excited as Jared is and only slept a couple hours last night.

Day 1: Hosting is nice. We are enjoying it. We are laughing A LOT {because we can't communicate}.

You are good and do good; teach me your statutes. Psalm 119:68

Loving and Expecting Nothing in Return

It feels like I've been waiting for 6 months for my host children to get here. It has only been 2.

They are scheduled to board their plane this very evening. Eek! So much to still do!

I am anxious. I am nervous. I am scared. 

My stomach is turning. Will they like us? Will they hate us? Will they be physically ill? Will they be petrified? Will they be nice?

More importantly, will the experience be a memory of hardship and trials, or will it be one of peace, in obeying His calling to do this?

It's the second week for many of the host families on our Facebook group board. The same families who were posting incredible, joyous photos are now sharing the horrific realities of hosting hurting orphans. I read them and get frightened. I can't imagine bringing someone into our house who acts and does what the reports are saying.

via Feed the Children

Whining. Demanding. Ungrateful. Disrespectful. Testing the measure of the host parents' love.

I don't like reading about these kids hurting dogs or throwing water on people. They are wasting the host parents' money and using bad language.

When I shared my fear with my regional coordinator the other day, she said that she didn't experience all the horrors that some of these hosts are posting. She said that it seems another country's orphans might have a harder time than our particular country's.

My first job with "at-risk kids" was my junior year in college. I learned so much working as an event coordinator with the city Youth Services Bureau. I had a brand new car and wanted to do something nice by taking some young teens to a basketball game. After it was over and I dropped them back off, I saw how they debased the back of my Ford Explorer. I was hurt and mad, but learned fast how much anger these kids had and how much attention they wanted. 

I know that if I was single, I could manage. I have seen pain. I have worked with orphans in many countries. But, how do I balance out any of these issues while parenting and making sure my husband and kids' needs are met, also?

This is our ministry. I believe we were called to do this. I have to believe that He will be faithful and show us so much more than we could ever desire. 

Please pray, with me, for our family.

If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:32-36

Sunshine and Einstein

I told Z we need to stop calling them "the orphans". We need new names for them. Since we are still trying to pronounce the name of our girl... even with a translator writing it out for us... we've decided to call her "Sunshine". I told Z I was calling the little boy, Iceman, but he liked Einstein. I always think of a derogatory 80s reference, like "Hey, Stupid!" or "Hey, Einstein!"... when someone does something dumb. I guess I'm just living in the 80s, so I'm going to stick with Iceman.

It's only a few short days until we meet Iceman and Sunshine. I cannot wait until they get here and Sunshine shares how she likes her name pronounced! 

We have been rushing around the house and cleaning. My boys and I are thriving with our capsule wardrobes. Laundry has been easier than ever. My husband hasn't quite gotten on board with it yet. His clothes barely fit in the drawers right now. I don't think it's lack of desire, but lack of time. There are definitely some shirts in his closet that he "wouldn't be caught dead in". 

There are priorities around here, though. There are things that had to come off the "to-do list", to make sure we could accomplish all the other items. I haven't had the time to cover/fix the dog teething holes, because detailing the car is more important.

Food. Food is also important. Food preparation is harder for me than cleaning. I am the worst dinner planner I know. It's horrible. Technically, I'm the worst "any meal planner"... as my son is sitting here eating Ranch flavored Pringles and the other one has a protein drink. {Mom of the Year Award Winner} Why do you think they've been taking Juice Plus the past few years? 

Okay. We're off to football camp this morning. Only 3 more football camps until our guests arrive!

So much to do. So much to do.

On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased. Psalm 138:3