Seeking Wisdom

Tomorrow I have a meeting with the principal and teacher to map out the school year.  We were given the information for the Intervention Program. If he continues with it, this will be his second of three years. I don't know what isn't settling right in my insides, but I'm not as eager to start him in it as I was last year. I think it was something Dr. C. said to me this summer. She said that we have to get to the root of the matter... his working memory. Just teaching him phonics isn't going to help him. He can't retain the information. I have been told that if he isn't reading by the end of this year, he won't be able to go to 2nd grade. How does one learn to read if they don't have a properly working memory?

He qualifies for the Alphabetic Phonics Intervention Program. This is the phonics program he uses in his classroom, but this program is obviously more intense. You can choose to have him in the program as an individual or be part of a group. The groups have up to 4 children in them and it is less expensive.  Obviously, looking at the fees could be one of the factors of my insides not settling.  Well, that and the fact that Dr. C. might be able to work with him throughout the year. Do we need to do both? If Dr. C. can get over to his school to meet with him during the school day, do we really need the Intervention Program? He would be taken from class a lot, during the week. And, how in the world would we pay for both? We're talking "new car costs".  But, if we don't act now... in this critical time... in this limited time that he has to learn and retain reading skills... he might never be able to attend a school after this year.

These are the concerns on my mind tonight. I know that somehow we will provide for the financial, whether it be adding piano students and cake orders or making my 14 hour days into 16 hour days. And what about my little boy's heart and mind? Yesterday he came home, feeling like his brain was "fried", just from regular school work. When I called Dr. C. to even see if it was a possibility for her to come to our school, she didn't know if her busy student schedule could allow it. Would we do it after school? I have to do whatever I can possibly do to help my child. I must. I just don't quite know what that is. 

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. Proverbs 3:13-14 (NIV)

ADHD or APD? The Results Are In!

He wouldn't stop talking. He kept interrupting the two students who were conducting (under Ms. Stiritz's supervision) his APD tests at Texas State University. I could hear it happening from the other room. Granted, he was saying "yes ma'am" to every question, but I was growing infuriated. I wanted answers. I wanted them to sternly tell him to be quiet and answer all the hearing questions. It wasn't happening. He wasn't on his best behavior.

"Have you ever had him tested for attention problems?" 

Instead of answering Ms. Stiritz with an honest "yes", I said, "I'd really like to know what you think."

He has been tested a few times, since he was three, for ADHD. As recent as last spring, his teacher asked me if he should be tested. I was always told he didn't have it. Since he didn't have autism or ADHD, there didn't seem an appropriate category in which the many testing experts could put him.  But, Ms. Stiritz is a true expert. She's been doing this for years. She's written papers on it. She's given lectures on the ADHD/APD phenomena. She knows ADHD. She knows APD. I wanted her opinion.

It came at the end of the APD testing. She, along with her two students, entered the small room where I was waiting. We sat at a table together and Jared found a book to "read". He sat there, quietly, not moving an inch... just reading. They went over their findings and we discussed what needed to happen next. We talked for a while (a long while). He sat, quietly reading, for a while (a long while). As one student observed, "he didn't even rock or move his feet."

Ms. Stiritz told me that at the beginning of the test, she thought he was classic ADHD. But, when we were sitting there, not only did she say he was definitely not ADHD, but that if we even attempted to put him on ADHD medicine, it would not work. It was nice to hear another expert tell me my son doesn't have ADHD. My favorite part was that she wrote it in her actual written report, that went to his Pediatrician, teacher, principal, etc. Here's what it said:

"Jared showed many behaviors during testing that are indicative of ADHD. There was constant movement and excessive talking and interrupting. However, he displayed no ADHD behaviors outside the testing booth while we were talking with you. This suggests that he does not have ADHD. He shows ADHD-like behaviors when tasks are difficult for him or when he has trouble understanding. It is important to realize that these behaviors are due to his language/learning problems, not ADHD." 

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)

 

1st Day of School Thoughts

It's the first day of school, so I woke up extra early to pray. As you know, I'm constantly praying for a miracle for my child. I'm praying for that "sheath" {in his brain that I keep hearing about} to thicken and for his ears to communicate with certain sides of his brain. I'm praying that he finds confidence... something that I've witnessed his learning disabilities repeatedly break down. I'm praying for peace for him... for our family. I'm praying for his tender heart, not to "crack" as much. {I don't know where that term came from, but he's been saying things like, "That cracked my feelings" or "My feelings are cracked".}

So, I did something I've done a few times in life. I opened my Bible and played "Bible Bingo". This is the name my dear friend, Kizmi, calls it when one opens the Bible and it just falls to a page and you read it. Most of the times I play Bible Bingo, I fall directly onto a gem. This morning was no different. My eyes went directly to a verse talking about Jesus doing miracles among the people, and through God. I've read a great deal about miracles and do believe that God is responsible for them. The best part of the verse... the gem at the end, reads "as you yourself know".

It was so great to get a reminder this morning. I do know that, if it's His will, there will be a miracle. There will be many miracles in our lives. I believe it. I'm walking in that belief this very morning. 

Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. Acts 2:22 NIV

Best Place to Get An APD Assessment in Central Texas

Way back in the beginning, when I first heard that my child might have APD, I researched to find the best available help for him. I kept coming across this name - Lori Stiritz.  She is one of few experts assessing APD in Texas. When I first tried to get in to see her, a year and a half ago, I was told that no one would test a 5 year old.  I also learned you needed a referral.

So, because of my Estes Audiology appointment, I got my referral. My appointment was scheduled for the beginning of July. I was excited. She works at Texas State University, my old Alma Mater.  I was so ready to get a REAL assessment... not some crazy, confusing paperwork, like the previous audiology appointment. 

Ms. Stiritz was great. She was funny and you could tell the students really liked working with her. She was wonderful with Jared. Unfortunately, Jared had fluid in his left, middle ear, so she wasn't able to perform the tests. We were only there for an hour and a half, but I felt immediate peace. She confirmed that if Jared had APD, we were doing exactly what we should for him. After an APD diagnosis, the only thing to do is therapy. Well, I believe the only thing is to PRAY and put him in therapy.

We had to reschedule for later in the month. She said it would actually be good, because she was going to an APD conference at the University of Connecticut in mid July, so she might come back with some new techniques or something.  It was called "Frank Musiek’s 6th Annual CAPD Boot Camp". Mr. Musiek is quite the expert. Just check out his credentials - http://speechlab.uconn.edu/faculty/musiek/publications.html.

I guess the reason I'm writing this brief "pre-assessment" meeting blog entry, is because I want to make sure that if local folks are reading they know where to go. If your child has APD, please try to get into Texas State University for a diagnosis. You need to see Lori Stiritz, M.A., CCC-A, Senior Lecturer and Audiologist. You won't be sorry. Just wait until I write about what happened at the assessment.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.  1 Chronicles 16:34

Finding the Right Brain Work

Have you ever gotten so behind on laundry that you see stacks and stacks of clean laundry, ready to be folded, and you just want to run and hide? That's how I've been feeling about writing lately. So much has happened this summer, regarding Jared. I wish I would have written all the events, meetings, feedback, etc. but it was never just "one thing". It was a big pile of overwhelming "laundry", that I ended up falling to my knees instead of typing here.

Jared has finished another summer with Dr. Champagne. The thing is, however, we need to continue working with her. I have no idea how to make that happen. Jared's brain is like mush at the end of the school day. I can't imagine him being okay with going on to another hour or hour and a half of therapy. But, if we don't get him in therapy with her, will he ever get better? After all the folks I've met on this journey, I'm thinking "no". 

Dr. C. is phenomenal. She knows Jared like no other and I do not believe there is a better advocate, other than myself, for my son. She knows what he needs. She knows what his complex, multifaceted brain needs. She knows that the help that he's getting through the program at the school is not enough. She's even working with us to see if there's anyway to get insurance to help with his therapy. That's huge.

I'm awaiting a callback for a scheduled meeting with Jared's principal and teacher regarding his learning. Dr. C. is willing to come to the school to meet with him. But, how will that work? He is already excused, three times a week, for his "intervention program". I am starting to believe (as Dr. C. already knows) this intervention program may actually not help him as much as many think it will. We MUST work on his working memory! He can learn all he can, in whatever new and exciting ways, but if we don't have his working memory in tact, is it really helping? 

In the past 19 months, we have confirmed that Jared's biggest problems are 2 things: working memory and part to whole. I will go into detail about those, along with many other things we discovered this summer, in future blog entries. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out the next step on our journey. How can I find the right "brain work" for my sweet boy?

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7 (NIV)

Orange!

This morning, he started out the ceremony as a yellow belt.

 

After his karate demonstration, he became an orange belt. 

{he was blowing me a kiss}

  

He is so proud of that orange belt! We are so proud of him!

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philipians 3:14 (NIV)

What About Me?

Summer seems to be busier than the school year, or so it seems... since I haven't updated the blog in a while. To be honest, it's been a pretty discouraging month.

You know how you're never supposed to compare your children? I always hated it when my parents compared me with my brother. My brother was book smart. I was street smart... and book smart, but I think it was mostly to keep my parents off my back. He thrived on learning science and math. I liked English and Bible class. The only ways that my brother and I are similar are by having the same DNA, by believing baseball is the most boring sport in the universe and by not preferring to eat ham. Oh, and that we both received "Bachelor of Science" degrees. He likes to remind me that my degree is NOT a real science degree, like his. He got his B.S. in Physics. I received my B.S. in Recreation Administration. There was always a comparison.

Since my boys are still young, I didn't expect it to happen so soon. How is my 4 year old better than his 7 year old brother when he plays Wii? He excelled the first time he played it. How come most folks can understand when my 4 year old says words, but constantly have to ask my 7 year old what he's saying? How can I tell what my 4 year old is drawing before I can tell what my 7 year old has drawn? 

The other day, my boys got a treat - little white powdered donuts. I gave Jared 5 on a white napkin and put 2 on Zane's napkin. Zane said, "I'd like the same as him." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I only have 2 but he has 5. I need 3 more." I tried not to gasp. I was in utter disbelief.  Did he just do math in his head? He didn't pick up each donut and count it and then add the others with his hand. He just looked at the napkin and quickly told me the situation. White donuts on a white napkin. The reason why that is of importance is because things like that make Jared's brain kick into overdrive because it seems harder to count when everything's the same color. Who taught Zane to add/subtract? Last I checked he counts to 7 and then adds random numbers. I wanted to jump up and down and praise my little boy, but I stopped myself because Jared feels any praise for any other person means a "put down" for him {we're working on this issue around the clock}. 

I couldn't wait for Ray to come home so that I could tell him about Zane. I said, "Is he brilliant? Where did he learn that?" Ray's response: "No. He's normal." {crush. shatter. sound of my heart breaking for Jared.} You see, we could work for 5 days straight with Jared, adding and subtracting donuts and he would probably end the week still guessing his answers. It takes so long for concepts to "stick" and then we have no clue if they will still be there next week.

People have said to find something that each child is good at, to promote individualism. So far, Zane is excelling in the things that Jared does well, along with the things that Jared cannot do. I'm having such difficulty trying to find ways to outwardly encourage my little one without crushing my older child. Jared's most common phrase seems to be "What about me?" He says it so much that it's Ray's most hated phrase on the planet. Wherever we are, if someone has something or does something, Jared will say, "What about me?" We've been trying to help his understanding, but I know it has to do with this deficit of self esteem that his invisible disability has eaten.

My discouragement stems from expectations that Jared should excel more rapidly than he is. Things just aren't clicking in that brain of his. They're not. Zane is on the sidelines listening to us teach Jared and his brain is a sponge, soaking it all in. I think that's so wonderful for my little one, but I'm just confused as to how to deal with all this in a sensitive way...as to not crush either of my precious boys' spirit.

Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.  Psalm 119:35 (NIV)