Finding the Right Brain Work

Have you ever gotten so behind on laundry that you see stacks and stacks of clean laundry, ready to be folded, and you just want to run and hide? That's how I've been feeling about writing lately. So much has happened this summer, regarding Jared. I wish I would have written all the events, meetings, feedback, etc. but it was never just "one thing". It was a big pile of overwhelming "laundry", that I ended up falling to my knees instead of typing here.

Jared has finished another summer with Dr. Champagne. The thing is, however, we need to continue working with her. I have no idea how to make that happen. Jared's brain is like mush at the end of the school day. I can't imagine him being okay with going on to another hour or hour and a half of therapy. But, if we don't get him in therapy with her, will he ever get better? After all the folks I've met on this journey, I'm thinking "no". 

Dr. C. is phenomenal. She knows Jared like no other and I do not believe there is a better advocate, other than myself, for my son. She knows what he needs. She knows what his complex, multifaceted brain needs. She knows that the help that he's getting through the program at the school is not enough. She's even working with us to see if there's anyway to get insurance to help with his therapy. That's huge.

I'm awaiting a callback for a scheduled meeting with Jared's principal and teacher regarding his learning. Dr. C. is willing to come to the school to meet with him. But, how will that work? He is already excused, three times a week, for his "intervention program". I am starting to believe (as Dr. C. already knows) this intervention program may actually not help him as much as many think it will. We MUST work on his working memory! He can learn all he can, in whatever new and exciting ways, but if we don't have his working memory in tact, is it really helping? 

In the past 19 months, we have confirmed that Jared's biggest problems are 2 things: working memory and part to whole. I will go into detail about those, along with many other things we discovered this summer, in future blog entries. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out the next step on our journey. How can I find the right "brain work" for my sweet boy?

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7 (NIV)

Orange!

This morning, he started out the ceremony as a yellow belt.

 

After his karate demonstration, he became an orange belt. 

{he was blowing me a kiss}

  

He is so proud of that orange belt! We are so proud of him!

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philipians 3:14 (NIV)

What About Me?

Summer seems to be busier than the school year, or so it seems... since I haven't updated the blog in a while. To be honest, it's been a pretty discouraging month.

You know how you're never supposed to compare your children? I always hated it when my parents compared me with my brother. My brother was book smart. I was street smart... and book smart, but I think it was mostly to keep my parents off my back. He thrived on learning science and math. I liked English and Bible class. The only ways that my brother and I are similar are by having the same DNA, by believing baseball is the most boring sport in the universe and by not preferring to eat ham. Oh, and that we both received "Bachelor of Science" degrees. He likes to remind me that my degree is NOT a real science degree, like his. He got his B.S. in Physics. I received my B.S. in Recreation Administration. There was always a comparison.

Since my boys are still young, I didn't expect it to happen so soon. How is my 4 year old better than his 7 year old brother when he plays Wii? He excelled the first time he played it. How come most folks can understand when my 4 year old says words, but constantly have to ask my 7 year old what he's saying? How can I tell what my 4 year old is drawing before I can tell what my 7 year old has drawn? 

The other day, my boys got a treat - little white powdered donuts. I gave Jared 5 on a white napkin and put 2 on Zane's napkin. Zane said, "I'd like the same as him." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I only have 2 but he has 5. I need 3 more." I tried not to gasp. I was in utter disbelief.  Did he just do math in his head? He didn't pick up each donut and count it and then add the others with his hand. He just looked at the napkin and quickly told me the situation. White donuts on a white napkin. The reason why that is of importance is because things like that make Jared's brain kick into overdrive because it seems harder to count when everything's the same color. Who taught Zane to add/subtract? Last I checked he counts to 7 and then adds random numbers. I wanted to jump up and down and praise my little boy, but I stopped myself because Jared feels any praise for any other person means a "put down" for him {we're working on this issue around the clock}. 

I couldn't wait for Ray to come home so that I could tell him about Zane. I said, "Is he brilliant? Where did he learn that?" Ray's response: "No. He's normal." {crush. shatter. sound of my heart breaking for Jared.} You see, we could work for 5 days straight with Jared, adding and subtracting donuts and he would probably end the week still guessing his answers. It takes so long for concepts to "stick" and then we have no clue if they will still be there next week.

People have said to find something that each child is good at, to promote individualism. So far, Zane is excelling in the things that Jared does well, along with the things that Jared cannot do. I'm having such difficulty trying to find ways to outwardly encourage my little one without crushing my older child. Jared's most common phrase seems to be "What about me?" He says it so much that it's Ray's most hated phrase on the planet. Wherever we are, if someone has something or does something, Jared will say, "What about me?" We've been trying to help his understanding, but I know it has to do with this deficit of self esteem that his invisible disability has eaten.

My discouragement stems from expectations that Jared should excel more rapidly than he is. Things just aren't clicking in that brain of his. They're not. Zane is on the sidelines listening to us teach Jared and his brain is a sponge, soaking it all in. I think that's so wonderful for my little one, but I'm just confused as to how to deal with all this in a sensitive way...as to not crush either of my precious boys' spirit.

Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.  Psalm 119:35 (NIV)

Daily Learning

This is how we are reading nowadays, through the Visualizing and Verbalizing for Language Comprehension and Thinking Program. I read a story to Jared and he picks out the colors to visualize what's happening in the story. For example, "The red hen laid a white egg" might start the story. He picks colored felt squares to go along with it.

This book that we're using is a book to develop thinking through dual coding. According to the author, Nanci Bell, the stories that we read "are a tool to integrate visualizing and verbalizing - the dual coding of imagery and language - necessary for cognition. Aristotle said, 'Man cannot think without mental imagery.' Since without thinking and reasoning we are lost, it is my hope that these V/V stories and HOTS questions will assist individuals of all ages, sizes, and colors to reason and communicate better."

And, this is how we're currently working on math skills. Granny bought Jared a little netbook so he can work through math problems on line. He's also working on his computer skills.

How much better to get wisdom than gold,to get insight rather than silver! Proverbs 16:16 (NIV)

A Little Champagne Talk

Dr. Champagne and I had an interesting conversation about this "brain injury" work. She told me that ADHD was considered a brain injury and folks would be institutionalized until the 1930's, if they had ADHD. She said that it was classified as that until 1970. It's an older way to classify any neurological disorder like that. She then told me stories of how her grandma took her to these institutions to study folks. I asked her how old she was and she told me 8 or 9 years old!

She told me about a lady who was admitted to a mental hospital when she was five, because she was dyslexic, and had been there for 50 years. Her grandma also took her to prisons to study folks. She learned that so many inmates who were in jail, had brain issues. I was absolutely fascinated. She said that her grandmother wanted her to see folks so she could better understand the brain and try to help folks NOT get institutionalized or make decisions that could land them in jail. Dr. C. has been studying the brain since grade school!

If I haven't said this enough, I'll say it again. I feel that Dr. Champagne is the #1 person who can help my child. Her heart is phenomenal. She goes over and beyond and she KNOWS HER STUFF! She almost makes me want to go to medical school and study neurology. Almost.

 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6:16 (NIV)

Concrete

A few weeks ago, Ray and I met with Jared's teacher and principal to recap his phonics program and see how we could help prepare him for the next school year. Out of all the things we talked about, one thing stood out: "Read books with him and to him, especially fiction books." Hmm... that seemed to be an odd suggestion.

When we asked why, we were told that he takes everything very literally. Some of the day-to-day things he says are, "That can't happen" or "How is that possible?" He is extremely inquisitive and wants to know how everything works or functions. At times, he'll even argue with the person telling a fiction story...expressing that the story could not actually happen!

Last Thursday, Dr. Champagne read a story to him and he was to answer questions after it. Unfortunately the story was something like, "You and your family went to the park yesterday. You went down the slides and played in the grass." When he was asked the questions, he kept arguing with Dr. C. and telling her that he did NOT go to the park yesterday. "Did you slide down the slide?" He'd say, "No. I wasn't at the park!" She explained to him that it's a story. He wouldn't budge.

My favorite one was where she asked him the question, "How many pennies are in a nickel?" He said, "None. You can't put pennies into a nickel." She kept trying to explain it, but he took the penny and kept knocking it up against the nickel and asking her to show him how it was even possible. He told her it could not be done. They could be stacked, but you could not put a penny IN a nickel. It's impossible. She was laughing so hard. She said, "He's SO concrete!" 

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  Ecclesiastes 3:4 (ESV)

Is It In There?

Today I received a phone call from the administrator at Jared's school. She had good news. This fall they are starting an entirely new phonics program at the school. Why is this good news? It's geared toward APD kids. It's one of the best ways for ALL CHILDREN to learn to read. Even Zane will be starting with it in K4. She asked if I wanted to come to the teacher training for it in August. Preschool through 2nd grade teachers will be trained in it. Her excitement was evident in all that she told me. She said, "Jared's going to be ahead in some areas, since he's already familiar with it."

That's when I took the opportunity to tell her about my day yesterday... how Jared's skills vanished. Her first words were, "It's in there." My first thought was cynical... "Sure". She said that he's filed it away somewhere and we need to find the tools to retrieve it. Once we find those tools, it'll all be there. She described it like it was going to be a magical moment or something. I didn't realize how teeny tiny my faith was until she said that. My thoughts were still "Um. yeah. sure. I don't think so. You don't understand. It's gone." I mean, could she be right? She IS trained in APD. She knows about all this stuff. Has she seen this before? Why is she not as pessimistic as I am? Are there a bunch of drawers in the brain and it's been shoved in a drawer and we have to remember which drawer it's in and get it? What do we do until then? Learn it all again? This is so confusing.

I told her we need a miracle. She said that she would pray with me for that miracle.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12