A New Day, A New Gray

I have often said that I might develop PTSD from this adoption process. The first eight weeks have felt like that. I don't think I can describe it.  I'd love the entire world to adopt the 153 million orphans, but I wouldn't want my friends to endure this process. It's not for the faint of heart. 

I've had a number of people say that they think what we're doing is great and that they'd like to do it. I'd be lying if I said, "Yeah! It's great! C'mon!" 

Let me rephrase... I believe having my children with me will be great. I believe having 5 kids under the same roof will be wonderful. I can't wait! {believe me. the waiting is HARD} But, to know a friend is going through what I have had to go through? Never. Nope. Wouldn't want it. Not one of my friends knows everything we've endured, thus far. It's too much. I don't want others to think of that when they think of what we're doing. It's the whole "eyes on the prize" thing. We're going to keep trekking along, and we want our friends to be as excited as we are about this! Are they? Well, that's for another post... but we have been so blessed with huge support from some key people and we'll never forget what friends and family have done for us, thus far.

Enduring the process. That's what I've been doing. I've kept a spreadsheet with the dates of when things happened and if you look at it, you'd never know that so much could be done within a day. It can, if you don't sleep. The goal is to get my kids home. I can sleep when their country has our dossier at the ministry. I'll have plenty of waiting time after that. 

While keeping my mouth shut about all the arduous experiences of the past two months, I have felt a pain in my chest. A few weeks ago, I decided to (FINALLY) get up every morning at 5 and take it all to God BEFORE I get attacked with it during the day. I cannot express how much it has changed everything! I don't even need an alarm clock. I get up at 5am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, and grab the sword of the Spirit and feel able to conquer the day. My chest stopped hurting, but my hair didn't seem to get the memo. I found my first gray hair EVER. I laughed about it because I couldn't understand why there was this coarse, white looking hair on the top of my head. I examined it. I took a picture of it. I looked at it from all angles,  like I was an entomologist, counting babies on a scorpion's back. I named it the name of my home study agency, pulled it out (because I couldn't get over how different it felt from any other hair on my head), and wondered when I'd find my next. 

Thankfully, I love my children more than I hate doctor's offices. I love my children more than I like having spending money. I love my children more than I care about my hair. I love these children that are 6,000 miles away from me. I love them so much. Bring on the new day! Bring on a new gray! I'm ready.

Gray hair is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness. Proverbs 16:31