Emotions

I wish there was a way to explain the emotions that come with this process.

Emotionally, this stinks.
I am waiting on so many people to do what I need them to do. But, what is their motivation? Why would Colorado need to jump to send a paper back to Texas to say I'm not a child molester? Bad example. I actually had to pay them for that reply. Hopefully, money would motivate.
North Carolina and Missouri didn't need money for their background check. Who's to say that they won't wait a few months to reply?

And then there's our home study agency. I'm starting to think we made the wrong decision by going with them. Today, my contact person suggested I attend a meeting in October, when it's something I can do on the Internet TONIGHT. What does that say to me about an urgency to get my kids back to America?  In addition, the thing about these agencies, including adoption agencies, is that in their contract they state that we might incur additional charges. We're already paying a crazy, large amount, but then they keep adding on $15 here or there. Thankfully, the adoption agency hasn't done that, yet, but all our medical information sure is costing us a lot more. 

What's the benefit?

Well, you can now hire a gal {who has had 13 criminal/sexual background checks/fingerprints and been tested for every sexually transmitted disease, HIV, TB, drugs, alcohol, Hepatitis, inhalant use, and cancer} to babysit your children to help raise money for her adoption!

Another benefit... and the best... will be getting our kids!

... if I can just survive getting through this agency stuff.

Obviously, these agency workers aren't going to live like completing the tasks I need is the most important thing they should do today. I wish they would, though. I pray they would.

I pray I can get these emotions in check. Each day is filled with a couple "highs", followed by "lows". It's a constant up and down. There are emotional waves and I'm not crazy about this. I'm crazy about my kids, though, so I'm going to endure this craziness and pray I can keep these emotions in check. 

I read an article about the unexpected physical effects of an adoption wait.  
1. WEIGHT GAIN {check} - and I feel like a cliche after reading this article. Surely, I can get back on track and stop shoving these feelings (a.k.a peanut butter) down my throat! 
2. DISRUPTED SLEEP {check} - I'm a pretty decent sleeper, but yes... it has not been my best, lately!
3. BACK STRAIN {check} - I went through back pain last week and that does NOT happen with me... or hasn't in decades. Thankfully, it's gone now (Young Living Panaway, shout out!)


Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 43:5