I never thought life would slow down enough for me to ever write again. I'm surprised it has... or that I even wanted to write again.
So much has happened in the past few years with Jared. Did he ever learn to read? Yes. Did my tears ever stop flowing? The daily tears subsided. Joy submerged as I started to get to know my beautiful son for who he was and stopped hoping for him to be shoved, perfectly, into some kind of mold {that didn't work}.
Where are we now? We are surrounded... SURROUNDED by love and encouragement. He and I are at a new school and we have incredible friends. He is still with Dr. Champagne twice a week. I've been helping her with marketing and other things, because I feel so indebted to her. She is absolutely wonderful. I could probably write 50 blog entries on all the astounding things I have learned about her in the past few years.
My son still can't read verbal cues very well. That's the area where my frustration seems to linger. He doesn't understand when to stop talking, or to stop repeating things. Although it can be very annoying for many, I'm so thankful that God is so much bigger than his social/verbal cues. Even though I often want to run away when I hear my son repeat something, about 16 times, I continue to thank God for that. For with that deficit, comes a sweet innocence.
Just the other day, my son's heart could have shattered into a zillion tiny particles, but it didn't. We were eating lunch with his cousin, who is his age. This is my {biological} brother's daughter. He is my only brother. We are my parents' only children. Here is how that lunch conversation went:
Son: Mom, I want some more cousins. Can AJ be my cousin? [his friend at school] How come people have so many cousins and I don't?
Me: You have cousins. Your cousin is sitting right next to you.
Son: That's right. She's my cousin.
Cousin: Actually, you're only my half cousin
((((This is the part where the momma lion erupted from my inside before I could even formulate a thought))))
Me: What do you mean, he's your "half cousin"? He's your cousin. Is he half a person? [The emphasis on that last question... and the actual question, which was triggered by too many emotions, might not have needed to be said]
Cousin: He's my half cousin because he's adopted.
Me: He's your cousin. I am your dad's sister. He is my son. He is your cousin.
Cousin: Not by blood. We don't have the same blood, so is my half cousin.
((((At this point, I continue to watch my son to see what he is thinking. He seemed completely oblivious to this conversation, even though the three of us were at a small table and it was not a very busy restaurant. He was already discussing Minecraft or some other video game.))))
Me: {looking her square in the eyes} He is your cousin.
At that moment, I could not find words to express my gratitude for God's plan. He knew that Jared didn't need to "process" that conversation. My son has been on this "cousin kick" for the past two months... feeling left out at school because his good friends have siblings or "cousins" at the school. He doesn't. My roaring momma lion came out because he had been expressing that pain for a while. Even though my niece didn't realize the hurt that she caused in those words, I felt them. They stung. Everyone likes to be accepted and understood. Every adoptive mother wants their children to never feel like anything less than the incredible blessing they are!
I thank God for my son's "deaf ear" that day. God knows that there will be other conversations in my son's future that may hurt to hear. I am so thankful for the sovereign God that we love!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21
Now
to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or
think, according to the power that works within us, - See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Sovereignty-Of#sthash.9lq4GzH3.dpuf
Now
to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or
think, according to the power that works within us, - See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Sovereignty-Of#sthash.9lq4GzH3.dpuf
Now
to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or
think, according to the power that works within us, - See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Sovereignty-Of#sthash.9lq4GzH3.dpuf
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