The Behavior Equation

This week has been a school week of standardized tests.  Jared said they were “easy” and he seems to have done well on them. What he hasn’t done well with, however, is his behavior. It has been the worst week on record for his behavior. He can’t seem to shut his mouth when he’s not supposed to be talking. Every day that he got a mark, he was sent to his room after school. He hated it. He doesn’t like being alone (thus, not being able to talk) and he can’t stand not getting to play outside every afternoon. Apparently he didn’t hate it enough because he’d go to school the next day and get another mark or two. He’d spend the next afternoon in his room or cleaning, which he hated.  I promised him a popsicle if he didn’t get a mark the next day. I talked to him about his marks and what triggered his behavior. It seemed to revolve around a couple other kids in the class who usually received more marks than he did. He likes to hang out with these other kids. I told him to not hang out with them anymore this week. I picked about 3 people in the class who I knew were well behaved and asked him to ONLY sit by those kids at lunch. 

And what happened? He didn’t. He sat next to the child who gets in trouble more than any other in his entire class. This led to another mark on the 3^rd day. 

I think I was more frustrated with the fact that he didn’t heed my counsel and not sit next to that particular child. In my mind, this week’s equation was so simple. Jared + this other child = bad behavior/mark. Jared – this other child = no marks.  Don’t get me wrong, this child is not the only reason Jared gets marks. Oh, no. He flies solo very well. But, this week, she seemed to revolve around his bad behavior. I never listened to my parents when they told me not to hang out with certain friends, so what makes me think my son will be any different?

When I picked him up today, he said, “I don’t think I got any marks.” His teacher confirmed that. As we were getting in the car, he said, “I hung out with who you told me to and I didn’t get a mark.” Ah. He figured out the equation of the day!

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.   Romans 12:2 (NIV)