Badge of Honor

I like having an honest relationship with my children. I have too many friends who have had parents lie to them about things like who their biological parents are, if they are adopted, etc. Because I have seen the direct pain that causes, I made a point to be honest with my kids from an early age.

Jared has known something "wasn't right" with his brain for a while now. He used to mention that his brain wasn't working, so when he was finally diagnosed, I shared with him about his APD. It never occurred to me to not explain to him why he was going to therapy and what was happening in his brain. However, when I was hanging out with a friend who has APD and wasn't told he had it until after he graduated from graduate school, he explained how happy he was that he had never been told. He thinks it's better if a person doesn't know, so they don't use it as a crutch. I never thought about it like that. I guess I thought people tended to not showcase their disabilities for the world to see.

My friend was recently substitute teaching a 6th grade math class, and she was trying to get one of the students to sit down and work on his assignment. His excuse for not wanting to do it was his ADHD. When my friend pointed out that there were lots of kids with different difficulties that were still buckling down and doing their work, he said something like, "But he only has ADHD. I have ADHD and OCD, so there's no way I'm going to do it." My friend told me that he seemed to wear his disability like a badge of honor or like a "get out of jail free" card!

After hearing that, I'm definitely going to be praying more about how to talk with my child about his neurological disability. I don't want anything hindering his success in life. And, most importantly, I would never want my son to be part of a conversation that sounds like that!

Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies. Job 28:18 (NIV)