freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder.

After I wrote that post yesterday, the emotions started flowing. I feel like I have this new freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder. I can't explain it. When we were first married, my husband called me an emotionless robot. I've never been much of a crier. I could be in a room of people, who were all sad or touched by something, and I just didn't seem to "feel" what they felt. There were rare occasions when people saw me cry. 

Then we found out my child had a number of neurological differences 5 years ago, and I started allowing the tears to fall more often. Parenting a special needs child can be quite an emotional ride. But, for the most part, I held it together.

However, this adoption... WHEW! I didn't know I could have so many emotions. 

I called my mom last night and shared with her {with quivering voice} about how alone I was feeling... since the few people who are supposed to be the closest, actual human beings to me, have not said one word about this adoption to me or supported us in any way. Not a text. Not a phone call. Not a $15 t-shirt purchased. Nada. 

I went to school today and my fabulous friend, Cherith, was wearing the same adoption shirt. Yay! [side note: wearing this shirt means so much to our family. Even J saw her and said, "Mom, she cares about our orphans! She's great!"] Then we started talking about peace and anxiety, because we were working on our chapel lesson.  And, the tears came to my eyes once again.
freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder

At that same moment, my mom decided to "go on a war path", as she called it. If she couldn't get those people to support us, she was going to get some of her family to do something. I did not know that she had chosen to do this. The next thing I knew, I got a text from a cousin. Then Ifound out another cousin donated. Then an uncle donated some more. Granted, I felt mortified because I didn't realize exactly what my mom said to them; but she was determined to make up for my hurt, by getting other people to write checks. She also told me a man at her church sent a check to our adoption agency today. This fear of my mom guilting people into donating to us added to my
freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder.

You know what else adds to it? A busy day. Not only did I have to teach, grade, teach again, and facilitate chapel, it was a busy adoption day. I had fundraiser people contact me to start fundraisers. One fundraiser actually began. Our crowdfunding site went live. Our dossier became ready to be notarized. We went to the bank to notarize it, but then came home to find out one page had the wrong address. We went back to the bank, right before closing, to get a new page notarized... but then came home to find we needed a few extra pages done. Are you sensing any of my freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder? I know this is the norm for many adopting families.

In our mailbox today, I found an incredible {unexpected} donation from a precious woman who attended our church over 10 years ago. I was blown away by the generosity. After adding that up along with the other checks, we received $2,900 in donations today!! Isn't that soooo astounding? I'm a little concerned about the way my mom went about some of those, but I have contacted my favorite cousin and all seems to be fine. 

And, how did this day end? My sweet friend, Cherith, donated {again} to our cause, by being the first donation on our Adopt Together page. This patient and kind sister, who listens to my freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder when she doesn't have to, rounded out our donations totaling $3,000 today. It seems surreal to even write that.

Last night, I was focused on the "moving mountains to cross an ocean" instead of on the Mountain Mover. Yet, He still blessed us and continues to bless us throughout this process. Did I think coming up with $3,000 in one day would even be possible for this adoption? Not really. Good thing that He's in charge and my friend, Cherith, can constantly remind me of that when I'm experiencing my freaky-high-high-low-low-emotional-adoption-disorder.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7